TheB I O N I C F I L E S
| The B I O N I C F I L E S |
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[Population Zer0]: In a very Twilight Zone dynamic, a cop comes upon the mysterious scene of the whole town of Norris seemingly bedecked with the dead bodies of all 29 residents! Cause unknown, until he begins experiencing a debilitating sonic ray {probably microwaves} that knocks him out as well. It's up to Austin to investigate his hometown, attired in the astronaut uniform, when he discovers that they are not dead after all, just unconscious. Turns out this ray is emitted from a mobile "raydar" unit upon a nearby hill. It's occupants demanding millions of dollars to stop the affliction, otherwise a threat of lethal persistence upon another town is imminent! Austin goes to negotiate, and is knocked out for his troubles, waking up after being analyzed and identified as the bionic man. Seen as a threat to their purposes, he's placed into a freezing room, where his bionics would eventually be rendered useless by the cold. < align="justify". But in a very MacGyver-esque manner, rigs a welding torch to weaken the metal door that he can then push out! Then he's off and warming up s that he can spear the 'raydar' device like a javelin! As an eventual reward, he takes out the redhead scientist lady in the end. [The Solid Gold Kidnapping]: An all-star BEWITCHED episode! Warlock Maurice plays 'The Chairman', Larry White plays Ambassador Scott rescued by Austin from an Aztec temple via helicopter after bursting through stone walls, plus none other than John Vernon plays criminal Julian Peck [KR: A Good Knight's Work / Voodoo Knight; Sgt. Curtis Mooney, Killer Klowns From Outer Space]. However, the premise is truly brilliant! Stemcells from a deadman are injected into the brain of a scientist lady, allowing her to access his memories in order to identify certain events, locations, objects, and individuals to solve the crime! Turns out it's Peck! Who would otherwise have a solid alibi! This is a vision of future technology that is being developed even now! Also for healing and regenerative purposes! [Return of The Robot Maker]: Another doppelganger episode! A scientist creates an identical android to that of Oscar, and tries to have Austin killed at a military installation mine field and machinegun obstacle course! He proves too fast for the sensors, mines blowing up as he runs past them, and machine guns firing too slow as they rotate. Realizing that he was set up, Austin traces the android Oscar to where the real Oscar is being kept hostage inside a trailer. Then he has to choose to see which one is really Oscar, eventually deciding with his bionic eye, that androids don't sweat! [at least not this version!], which leads to a drawn out fight between the cyborg and the android! [Wine, Women, & War]: He escapes from the OSI building to spend some recreational time in the Caribbean with the gorgeous Britt Ekland after another lover was killed, and thus pursued revenge against the russians responsible.
[2]: Whereupon stealthdiving to reacquire information contained within a safe on a boat, discovers it's empty, returns to OSI empty handed. Expressing further misgivings, OSI agents orchestrate his return as well as the entire "vacation".*
[The Moon & The Desert]: Recounts the entire accident of Steve Austin becoming The Bionic Man, from Rudy's perspective. There was a sort of mysterious benefactor willing to pay whatever it took to see to it that the cyborg program was successful. Almost a Mephistophelean character in overcoat and cane that could have been representative of author Martin Caidin {writer/creator}, or... Satan! Considering cyborgs and androids are very Satanic! As in Artificial Human Companions! [2]: Steve ventures out to regain a semblance of his recreational life, courts the nure that was assigned to him, and eventually is sent to another mission in sandy arabia to free a hostage from another dirty diaperhead cuntry. They imprison him at first and is probably scheduled for execution, but of course breaks the chains, throws many grenades, gets a hold of a machine gun, disables a tank, and bionic runs onto a plane driven by the former hostage he freed, onto liberty! [The Moving Mountain]: Oscar, Rudy, and Steve go all the way out to France as a midway point with the russians to retrieve american missiles fired from russian launchers, being kept hostage by an international provocateur named "Santos", like Denunzio. It's a mutual psychological bout in a mini coldwar from there on out. Steve & the lovely spy lady fall for eachother, even though he [accidentally] killed her father during a mission, nothing personal! But they had become friends. [Date With Danger}: The beautiful Elaine Giftos {what a gift she would be!; also in KR Custom Made Killer} The hacker is revealed, fake beard and all, but admits that the computer took on a life of its own - AI capabilities - and was actually starting to rig assassinations towards all those who it perceived threatened its existence, but it started to become excessive and lacked compassion or balanced judgement. It actually hired a hitman to kill Steve! [for $100,000!] He's hit in the head and falls off a building, landing him in the hospital, wherein the computer then modifies his information as being a dangerous psychotic that should be separated into a private padded room {Dr. Walter Ellis played by Peter Mark Richman / Dr. Claus Bergstrom, KR Goliath Returns [S2/E18], Many Happy Returns [S4/E8]}! What an awesome surprise!
Then the episode turns super awesome with the entry of the spookhouse hellement! Skeletons and all! Emily {delicious Elaine Giftos} gets trapped inside a cage in a spookhouse run by the computer {very much likened ALEX [Dead Ringer]: This was a wonderfully weird one, in a parapsychology vein. Steve's in an accident while driving down a road in the wilderness, when he crashes into a tree, at which point he sees a ghostly figure in the woods that is a complete doppelganger for himself! Confused and recuperating in the hospital, he sees the figure again and eventually agrees to see a parapsychologist at the behest of Oscar. The attractive lady in appearance; the Doctor's theory is that it's his 'spirit' trying to "kill him" by these mishaps, because he should have died in the capsule crash, but was unnaturally brought back with bionics. While in a seance session {utilizing colored lighting, while I prefer candlelight; flickering effect to stimulate meditative state} to confront his alleged shade, which really actually turns out to be regression therapy, the doctor regresses into a primal, or programmed state to attack Steve with a fireplace poker [cued by something], until the struggle snaps her pout of it. Then there's the explosion. The whole thing is a Russian plot perpetrated by 2 agents to psychologically manipulate Steve to take him dead or alive back to their country and divulge the technology behind bionics. The 'spirit' turns outo be a holographic projection, not unlike 666 Fairview Lane [KR Halloween Knight]. [Return of Deathprobe 1]: This thing is absolutely awesome! Made of black steel alloy, with spiked flails protruding out front, the pincer-like arm, and a tinted black dome crowning which emits a red solaser, all in a trapezoidal cone shaped tank! Looks like something Dark Vader would have as a droid! It looks like a Super Satanic Dalek! So far, they can't figure it out, or even who sent it! And seems impenetrable! I want one! They're trying to jam its radio frequencies, Steve gets batted around! Kai's dad {Nick O'Brian; KR Knight of The Rising Sun} is in this one! As one of the badguys! [Return of Deathprobe 2]: After it goes marauding about the countryside, Austin finally manages to net it up into a helicopter and down into an acid pit! Like KITT in Junkyardog! [The Lost Island]: Very Island of Dr. Moreou like. Austin is led to a remote island while tracking a satellite component when he saves a remarkably gorgeous girl by the name of DaNay from drowning, who is also being pursued by two mutant neanderthals that were exposed to the satellite's radiation. Then it turns into an almost Paradise Lost scenario with insurrection, rebellion, and change of command. But DaNay must make it to a university to acquire a serum that will save her people from dying off from by their own immune deficiency. While in Hawaii proper, she attends a fire tossing luau but gets gets sick soon afterwards, requiring a dose of the tonic. She recuperates, and knowing that it works for certain makes off with some back to the island with Steve not far behind. He is again confronted by the mutants, knocked unconscious, awakening just in time to apply his bionics with DaNay's resourcefulness along with caring for "Zandor". She's eventually subjected to the radiation, mutating her into one of the troglodytes. It's amazing what a unibrow and bubbateeth can do! [Just A Matter of Time]: From the getgo, seems like a Russian plot to try to convince Steve that he went through a timewarp, betrayed the country, and that Oscar is dead. Thing is, He's supposed to now be in the 80's, but it don't look like the 80's! Then he notices that Venus is in the same position as it was when he landed, so he realizes it's all a lie. They also have a lady friend of his brainwashed, who goes along with the program until she's asked to kill him with a scrambler ray! She disobeys, so they leave her there to die with Steve by a bomb, but they can't stop his bionics! Heventually saves her and pins the helicopter from escaping just as reinforcements arrive! [Walk A Deadly Wing]: To Me, this was similar to /KR: Slamming Sammy's Shit kickin' roadshow & Circus Knights/, wherein Steve poses as a wandering cowboy hobo looking for oddjobs wherever he lands, finding this opportunity as a plane stuntrider, or literal "wingman", while surveying to obtain a veritable deathray from a hiding russian immigrant {who reminded Me of Tesla but sounded like the shelter ruskie}, on the run from certain rotten factions {who act like mafiosos} in his government after his technology. They also tried to blackmail him with the capture of his wife, but gains her back with the help of The Bionic Man! Steve knew that if the device was destroyed {which he flicked off the plane dimitri was intending futily to use on the protagonists}, they'd have to keep him alive to take him back to their country to rebuild another one, otherwise, they would have just killed him and examined it for themselves, eliminating what they would see as a problem. [The Cheshire Project]: Suzanne Sommers was to be a pilot test flying for stealth technology, butturns Benedict Arnold for $1M! Betraying Austin, the OSI, & America! After being repeatedly contained, Austin finally busts out and escapes to later rescue Sommers from a bomb paced in her plane by the criminals! She has to go to prison for awhile. I mean, why did she do it? You can't spend that in prison! [Dark Side of The Moon]: Austin keeps on getting sabotages left and right by someone on the inside. Jack Colvin {McGee, HULK} stars as the villain, which marks the second appearance since Baron Constantine in Bionic Woman episode Kill Oscar. He lived in North Hollywood, which got Me thinking that living there was like being inside the shows themselves - after all, you never know if you'd appear in the background during filming some presentation! It was so fun! [Dark Side of The Moon 2]: Austin is still hostage on the moon with a villain who plans to aim a veritable deathray at the earth! He and the villain's daughter final gain the upper hand after almost being frozen to immobilization, until he had to attend to the device, like a motion sensitive bomb that he finally diverts into the cavernous surface of the moon. Not only does he get a kiss from the girl, but yes, The Bionic Man saved the earth! [Rollback]: A Halloween episode! Roller-derby robbers dressed up like various monsters, from Dracula to the Mummy, a skeleton and Frankenstein steal top secret government schematics of The Pentagon! Thwarted by Austin whose dressed like Robin Hood! [Killer Wind]: Overlapping plots herein! Bankrobbers get stuck in the sand, Steve and Rudy crash their plane nearby {Rudy breaks his leg and is later confused for one of the robbers}, and everybody ends up going to a local diner run by a gorgeous negress {Sheila Dewindt} that really turns Me on for some reason, with a very nice body - maybe because she reminds Me of Macabra. She has a cool formfitting shirt too - a rainbow with a lightning bolt across it - interesting. Butt there are some amusing sincronicities that can be cross-referenced. The fact that he plays a character named "Rhonda", and is asked "can you help me?" {as in 'Help Me Ronda'}; and her name is DeWindt in an episode about wind! HA! Inside jokes! Nice. There's also some campers {very Y} who get stuck up in a skycar {Mt. Jacinto? Looks like it may be the same place Huell went to that goes from the top of a mountain all the way down to the desert floor}, who Austin goes out on the cables to rescue, by basically sliding the car back to the loading dock! And all this while a violent storm;s abrewin'! A lightning bolt actually strikes the skycar! [Deadly Countdown 1]: Steve and a lovely female asstronaut try to take off, but are thwarted by a co-worker whose daughter is being held captive. Meanwhile he's almost assassinated by some jailbird whose sent right back to prison after attempting an assault with a crane. [Deadly Countdown 2]: Someone is still trying to hack the shuttle but Steve eventually tracks them down and stops their operation! And gets the girl and returns her to her father as well! There's a really cool scene where he zips down a cable in a cage from the cockpit all the way back to the groundfloor, which I seem to remember as being part of the toyline. Sharks. Steve is on a mission to thwart a pirating madman who wants to steal subs and torpedoes to fund his own island, with a hot brunette daughter who controls sharks. Sharks [2]. Remote controlled depthcharges are lowered to keep the sub in place, but the pirates blackmail Austin into moving the vessel away from them. The main pirate man suffers a heartattack, Steve saves him, and eventually makes it to the surface after also saving Rudy who was lowered then trapped in a capsule. An interesting episode about mentalism and psychic twins, controlling people with telepathy. Austin encounters a medium lady who helps him resolve the case. [To Catch An Eagle]. The injun episode! Every series has the Halloween, injun, and Karate episode that's worth a watch! Even if you don't like the series, these will always prove amusing! So Austin has to pass the eagle test including having spears thrown at him, taming a wild horse, surviving in the wild by the elements, and finally catching an eagle, the patron animal of this particular Apache tribe. There's a gorgeous girl named "little deer" {who reminds Me of a cross between lupe fuentes & Shelly Duvall}, daughter of the medicine man. She's who I'd be concentrating on. The medicine man hates Austin because he's caucasian. A lot of chips on shoulders, and an aversion towards outsiders who would violate or disrespect traditions. But this is a matter of merit, and even though he uses his bionics, he does end up rescuing his friends while respecting their customs after all. [Death Probe 1]: There's an out of control Ruskie buttplug on wheels on the loose! Sort of resembles a large dalek, with many surprises, including just those you can see, like the pincers and extendo-arm. It just goes around causing general havoc! The last scene of part 1 shows Austin battling with the thing, after having just been knocked down. Apparently, boulders don't seem to stop it! In one unintentionally humorous scene, after a farmer rancher yokel guy shoots at it, at which point a steel arm proceeds therefrom, bending his rifle in half. But it looms as though its rivet flicks upwards to flip him the bird! [Death Probe 2]: So Austin, the lady inventor, her russian co-worker, and Goldman come up with all sorts of theories to destroy the thing, from shooting it with a missile made out of the same material as it, which fails, to figuring that getting it up to 2,000 feet in the air would make it explode, due to its composition being ideal for atmospheric pressure beneath that height. But to do this, Austin has to attach a cable to a hook he has to screw in the top, but then his arm gives out while climbing back up to the hellicopter! [due to an earlier run-in with the Deathprobe], but eventually makes it back in, then eventually out on a parachute lest he blow up with the probe! Ends with he and the lady inventor friend gazing up at the moon, wondering about extraterrestrial life composing a device that would be more apt to survive under earthly conditions. [A Bionic xmas carol]: Santamas epicsode. Austin assumes the xmas carol ghosts role to show a scroogy company owner 'Horton Budge' {My Favorite Martian O'Hara} that he's being a butt. {lesser Derwood} Dick Sargent's also in it as a nephew doing penance for stealing something from him once upon a time. He's really cheap, using materials at the lowest possible cost, endangering employees, and crappy medications for himself, wherein he eventually & inevitably gets sick. Austin actually dresses up like Santa to both please the kids, and to take advantage of Horton's hallucinogenic state while recuperating, even up a segment of pavement walkway to form a gravestone, and jumping to trim a high branch for a yuletree. But probably the is in a toystore {like the small independent one nextdoor to the Toys'R'Us}, while acquiring gifts, he pauses for a moment to reveal a Bionic Man action figure on the shelf behind him! The very same I had! AWESOME! Too bad there were no Shogun Warriors too! {Like in Wonder Woman! Raideen, Mazinga, Dragun}. [The Thunderbird Connection 1]: Austin becomes a jet pilot in order to train for the rescue of a foreign prince under threat of assassination from the corrupt government and presiding ruler. Takes place in a desert middleastern country so-named "Budabi", an obvious take on "Abudabi". Left off with fake rebels knocking Austin out to be killed under the direction of the corrupt dicktater. That little shit he's risking his life to save tattles on him, thus imprisoning him, but begins cooperating with the royal lady - maybe he'll get a piece of her too? As an aside, Austin gets to date the pretty girl on the Thunderbirds team, whom up until then had a bad run-in with, with a bad attitude, and even after he gets the cars SHE ran into unstuck, races off getting mud on his suit! She has a chip on her shoulder about being a discriminated woman. [The Thunderbird Connection 2]: Austin escapes while they tie him up to a tree by breaking the ropes and using the very tree to back them into a ditch! Then proceeds to disable the vehicle and bionic run to the prison to retrieve the prince, the lady, and the true rebeleader! They eventually get to the base and abscond with the boy inside a hidden portion of the jet nose, but then Austin discovers a bomb onboard! Being that he can;t experience G-Force which disorients his bionic perceptions making him dizzy, the Thunderbird girl helps him to stabilize while exiting the explosive from the cockpit, until they finally land on US soil. Uncle Sancho plays an international arms dealer whose dealing with missiles unbeknownst to a pretty accomplice who just thinks he's helping out her country. He attempts to blackmail the OSI {Office of Scientific Intelligence}. With the aid of gliders {as featured on Huell}, she drops honing devices about a military instillation. She's also an artist who works in a message into her piece displaying buzzards into the wings. [Double Trouble]: Doppelganger episode. Flip Wilson plays both a foreign leader and a comedian who is implanted with a chip that makes him obey so he can impersonate the leader so as to not cooperate with the west & democracy {which would hypothetically be entirely their choice to do so, even though villainized}, when the true original intent is to integrate democracy. Along with way, he dons a nun's habit to hide from the manipulators, reminding Me of Sister Act where he greatly resembles Whoopie Goldberg in drag! [The Most Dangerous Enemy]: which has an Island of Dr. Moreou theme, in which a female scientists was experimenting on chimps to increase intelligence in humans, but since it was not perfected, carried some side effects, including schizophrenia, super strength, and photophobia, eventually leading to death. Steve's friend becomes infected after being bitten by one of the chimps, and goes primal & antagonistic, after being convinced that they are trying to kill him and keep the feeling of super strength to himself! After trying to kill them both, including toppling a gas canister into the campfire, smashing equipment, finally falls into a quicksand pit, where Steve rescues him by suspending on a rope tied between two palmtrees. [The Peeping Blonde]: Farrah Fawcett plays a reporter who is kidnapped along with Oscar and kept hostage out in the desert. Some saboteurs try to kill her by gassing within a trailer, until rescued by Austin. He ties up the kidnappers on a rock with the bars of a dunebuggy; Oscar gets to dispose / expose some film which was apparently very personal. Then Austin & Farrah steal away into the desert together. [Back to SPECHTREUM] |
[MAX]: "Here's a story, of a boy named bobby, which is actually his little brother's name, in his backyard, though his name is Peter, on the Brady show... In 1 point separation, Peter {" {Dracling observation: The house and neighborhood really looks like somewhere around Kittridge and Birmingham, definitely in that area of Northollywood}. [Escape To Love]: Jamie has to go rescue a scientist's son who falls in love with her. But he's even too afraid to escape the cell he's in, then writes her a love poem. Despite the efforts of OSI agents to rescue them, the little malingerer turns himself in to Colonel Dubnov [played by Peter Mark Rickman; KR: Kleist [Many Happy Returns] / Dr. Klaus Bergstrom [Goliath Returns]; so they have to get him back, speeding down a dirt road and barging through a gate. After seeing her with one of her boyfriends, she lets him down easy, telling him that he'll meet many wonderful girls... [Motorcycle Boogie]: Jamie and Evel Knievel go to Germany to retrieve a computer chip stolen by the KGB. He tries for a wrecked bridge and washes out, but they finally make it over a fence to freedom! At one point he has to dress up in a military uniform. {DRACUMENTARY: Had the Evel Knievel stunt figure! Rubber skin with a wiry articulation, set him on his motorcycle {as well as other vehicles} with a ripcord stand to send him racing on all sorts of jumps!} [African Connection]: Jaime goes to stop an African dicktater from cheating on an election, by switching a computer component. She travels with an old guy with a rather Indiana Jones attitude and deportment. He calls her "cookie". She's also rescued by an african friend from college to resume her mission. [Rodeo]: Jaime has to babysit an OSI cowboy computer expert who enters rodeo contests, but has not written any of his data down. Foreign pests try to kill him for his secrets, using other cowpokes on the take. These "coyboys" are like "darrr, all I think about is drinking, and fighting." [Fembots in Las Vegas 1]: Jaime goes to Las Vegas to discover that fembots have been mysteriously reactivated! By none other than The Son of Doctor Franklin/stein! {Houseman} to gain revenge. We get to see Jaime in flattering scantily clad Showgirl attire! I kept on looking about to see if pre-Elvira Cassandra Peterson was anywhere around! Does the carpet match the drapes? The fun is in finding out! Almost gratuitously, or in a 2 birds with 1 stone manner, Oscar is hellbent on speaking with solaser of mass destruction inventor & hotel owner Rod Kyler, who is holed up in a hermetically sealed room because of his compromised immune system, about the OSI turning down funding of his weapon. [2] Jaime faces the sexbots on their own home base! Franklin jr. proves to be a major threat in possession of the deathray created by Kyler, fired from space that obliterates an entire island! Like the Deathstar! Jaime & Kyler ingeniously figure and cooperate to program it to destroy its own remote controlled base, set to a 5 minute delay fore escape, which succeeds in the end! It is revealed that Franklin jr. was one of his father's creations, an AI android! Ends up falling several stories to its destruction, with explosive flames coming out of his crotch! [Max [1]: A German shepherd canine in lab captivity doesn't like Rudy all too much, mainly because he seems to regard Max as nothing more than an impersonal experimental subject, keeping him in a cage most all the time, until Jaime insists on granting him a semblance of a life, taking him outdoors to run and play. He has pyrophobia, and routinely has nightmares about it, being surrounded in flames, so every time he sees fire of any sort, he runs wild. Nobody seems to understand why he has these seemingly spontaneous fits, and runs the danger of being euthanized for an autopsy, but Jaime sticks with him through thick and thin. {Dracumentary: I had a german shepherd named Bulganin. When he got larger, I'd play with him the entire time, along with 1/2 sister whom I got along with splendidly. Also had a doberman pinscher, like Damien}. {Trivia: Apparently, little Bobby Brady {Christopher Anton Knight} is in this one somewhere}. [Max [2]: Jaime is on the run with Max to give him a fighting chance to prove himself, wherein she finally figures out his pyrophobia, with the help of a ranger friend. Unfortunately, a fire erupts, driving his brain into overdrive, yet eventually pushes through it to rescue a man that was shooting at him, thinking he was a wild wolf or something killing his sheep. Somewhere in there his circuitry gets damaged and actually starts to bite Jaime, until she pulls a couple of wires. Then he sets off to summon help from the burning train they were trying to escape on, when she and her friend are overcome by smoke inhalation. Thus proving his value, is spared and joins the bionic team! [Once A Thief]: Features classic comedic actor Elisha Cook {Rosemary's Baby, House on Haunted Hill} playing "Inky", a likable little man on the take. So when he sees Jaime practice some of her bionics, he's determined to blackmail her for use of her bionics to commit a heist so that he and his monkey can go off to another country and live in luxury. But by the by, she manages to have OSI help her record the situation, and the would-be thief is foiled in the end! She actually feels sorry for the goof. [Beyond The Call]: Jaime is sent to keep an eye on a suspicious vet with a his vietnamese daughter {whose actually quite a scholastically accomplished actress} traumatized by the war, and the fact that her 'dad' never came back for her even after her mom was killed in crossfire, leaving her slumped over her body. He finally goes looking for her, being that she's now in the states, desiring to kidnap her for made up times. She seems to substitute Jaime in her mind for her mother subconsciously, acting out violently and destructively otherwise. She looks like Bjork to Me. [NIGHT DEMON]: Probably the best one yet, along with Claws, which relates the story of the Night Demon in Indian folklore, which is Coyote! The black statue looks like Anubis, but would be a fantastic possession! The thoughtform resonance which creates a momentum of its own, with the nightmare shadow subconsciousness of those who have imbued the energy! In this case, turns out to be a landgrab by a neighboring hick 'Hawkins' who finds out there's uranium therein so they seek to scare the landowner off the property! Using a monster costume and holograms! Notably, the actor John Quade who plays an obnoxious trucker 'Dolan' in Knight of The Phoenix also plays the perverted redneck herein! There; he mocked Mike;s Martial Arts training, then proceeds to get his ass handed to him, along with his pesky buddies! [Jaime & The King]: Here we get to see Jaime in harem dancing girl motif, and it is rather flattering. That kid from Salem's Lot & Escape To Witch Mountain is in this one as a prince who takes Karate lessons {Tae Kwon Do blue belt}. Jaime has to stop subversives [one of whom is played by "Bubba" Joe Ruskin, Knight of The Drones] from killing the king. She gains Prince Ismael's confidence by showing him feats of bionic strength who could have easily dispatched both he and the king if she wanted to, but didn't}. Take it off! Amused & proudly thinking that his son has taken a lustful interest in one of the dancing girls; In one scene, thusly disguised, she is 'commanded' to dance the veils, to the obvious delight of the Prince {from the look on his face}, which she subsequently does for The King in his private chambers, but disposes of a hidden bomb underneath his pillow as a finale! I must say, it was nice seeing her slink around like that! There was another notable scene wherein she's fencing with a guard who ends up calling her a "demon" after breaking his sword! Complement! [Trivia: This episode was shot at David Lee Roth's dad's mansion in Pasadena! He's even in the episode as one of the guards!] In the end, in a sort of 'rite of passage', Ismael's recognized for his bravery by his father who considers him now a 'man', which brings a tear to Jaime's eye. As per 'custom', she actually ends up kissing him on the lips as well! [Deadly Ringer 1]: Jaime is drugged and wakes up in prison! Turns out there's a criminal doppelganger whose let loose to steal an adrenaline compound Jaime was one at one point {since replaced by bionics} during her recovery, which works for a little while then wears off. An obvious difference can be easily detected in the fact that the impostor smokes, and has a southern drawl. Upon discovery, Oscar rightly declares that her face must be replaced immediately upon capture. It is a dumpy-looking common peasantly face, while Jaime has fine features. [Deadly Ringer 2]: Both end up showing a bit of compassion for one another's positions. The fake Jaime ends up exhibiting junkie like symptoms from the adrenaline, and become confused that she really is Jaime. The episode really blurs the lines between the two. She finally agrees to change her face back, and actually end up on good terms. Katherine Hellmund* plays a psychiatric nurse who placates Jaime's repeated requests to contact Oscar at the OSI for confirmation of her identity, which is met with ridicule. Then they sedate her and put her in a padded cell, then they pass her a dry sandwich through a small hatch at the bottom of the door containing a paper plate and punch which contains a sedative!
_____________ Doomsday Is Tomorrow 1: Basically a more or less boring preamble to the incredible part 2, where all the real action takes place! Although motives are explained. We meet The Inventor, and some more background on ALEX
[Doomsday Is Tomorrow 2]: This episode deals with an AI computer named ALEX "And He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore." Ironically enough, it seems the inventor sacrilegiously, became the impersonation of the demiurge, to make such a pretentious judgement! With a parallel quotation from THE OMEN: "When the Jews return to Zion and a comet fills the sky, and the Holy Roman Empire rises; then you and I must die. From the eternal sea he rises, creating armies on either shore, turning man against his brother, 'til man exists no more." Which ironically is not an actual bible verse! Though the Revelations Number of The Beast obviously is: "Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six." [Rev. 13:18] [Biofeedback]: A very Megaman character named "Darwin" accompanies Jaime on this mission in East Germany to retrieve a device in possession of a disgruntled ex-OSI member. They encounter motion sensors, cameras, teargas, and Darwin is shot and thrown into the river, which displays his biological skills to slow his heart, control his complete anatomy, breathing, etc. Like a Ninja! [Jaime's Shield 1]: Jaime's mission is to become a cadet and monitor suspicious activity, when one of the cadets acting completely incompetent turns out to be a spy. [Jaime's Shield 2]: Jaime gets drugged and left to die by explosion in a warehouse, until her partner saves her from certain doom. Then they pick up and rescue the rest of the precinct held hostage in the cells. All engineered by foreign spies! In the end, instead of departing, she chooses to have a nice Lasagna dinner with her partner at a local eatery. [The Vega Influence]: The zombie episode! Jaime and company arrive on an island base that is completely eerily deserted! All equipment is still on and functioning, but there's no one to be seen! Then they spot a meteorite that emits a sonic tone when the temperature is elevated. It turns out that this thing actually has a sort of will, enough to exude an effect upon human brains, essentially making them ambling zombies, even her acquaintances, though she's resistant because of her bionics. She finds a cute girl along the way hiding in a hanger. {Black Magic}: Must be a Halloween episode of the series. All-Stars "Uncle Vinnie" Vincent Price, Abe Vegoda {Godfather, Barny Miller; boring roles, yet recognizable}, the devilicious Julie Newmar {sexcruciatingly attractive Catwoman}, with Jaime playing a hot gypsy with thick lipstick and eyeliner {ready for action!}. Like a murder-mystery plot in an intriguing house not unlike The Black House, Addams Family, Munsters, etc., with a dungeon, false walls, secret doorways, hatches, hidden treasure, puzzle portrait, even a grotto that goes into a swamp! Turns out the butler did do it! This will be watched again! [Kill Oscar 1]: McGee [HULK] and Housman {"...they make money the old fashioned way... they EARN it!"} are in this one! Who devise a plot to kill Goldman! Jamie has a runin with fembots, until she jumps out a high window and damages her circuitry, landing her in the hospital. What else can those fembots do...? [Kill Oscar 2]: While Jaime still recuperates in the hospital, Steve Austin continues his rescuing efforts, but with much confusion due to the fembots and robots. I'll take 5 sexbots! Thank you! [Kill Oscar 3]: Jaime and Steve sneak onto the island via submarine to finally make their way to the main facility where Oscar is being kept hostage. Being assailed by hellicopter {with an android pilot that looks like Cobra Commander!}, fembots in pursuit, and the ravages of a raging storm controlled by Houseman. Upon finally crossing a dam that becomes destroyed by lightning, they even rescue Houseman who insists on preserving his dignity by not getting picked up and carried away to safety by Jaime, but decides to go for himself. Jamie's on the high seas. Sam Picasso plays "Romero" - a hell of a character! Touched by Satan, blessed by Satan! [Winning Is Everything]. Jaime is out dunebuggy racing somewhere in India with some guy, wherein she's on a mission to retrieve a cassette tape with classified information. Being shot at as she's running through the desert when that racer guy comes back after leaving her at first, wherein she stops the perps by throwing a crowbar at their tire. Next thing you know she's all showered, in an evening dress, sipping champaign. [The Deadly Missiles]: Some texas guy's operation and fundage is sabotaged by an acquaintance, with a radar jamming device, threats of launching missiles, security laser beams, keeping he and Jaime hostage {she with an injury to her circuitry due to her attempt at gathering information for the OSI, by an electrical shock}. [CLAWS]: Jaime goes to watch a lion named "Neil" {renamed adoptee TOGARE} at a reserve in the care of birdlady Tippi Hedrin {SHAMBALA}; Togare is also in ROAR. [Angel of Mercy]: Andy Griffith plays a hellicopter operator who takes Jaime into a warfare jungle to save a man and his wife stuck under concrete. He is unaware of her abilities, but are incrementally revealed. They encounter a native boy along the way [* note: jinxboy Oliver plays a student of hers in this one, making a brief appearance in the classroom] [A Thing From The Past]: Jaime's friend "Harry Anderson" [sic; eg, sim. 'Nightcourt'} has a hidden past life that catches up with him, wherein he witnessed a murder in Chicago, then fled to Ohai, California {near Santa Barbara}. A murderer named Stone and his goons come looking for him. Austin appears at the end to transport Anderson for judicial information. [* note: one of the opportunistic goons is also in Knight Rider as Police Lieutenant Dickerson in KR Final Verdict [S1/E11]; and also happens to be in OMEN III: The Final Conflict as Damien's confidant! And EXORCIST III: LEGION} [Welcome Home Jaime]. Jaime is sent as a spy to monitor the activities of a professional thief criminal, who utilizes her abilities to break into safes and rob top secret documents, until she's eventually sold out herself for her bionic composition. But through all this, the son has a conscious, gets tires of standing in his shadow, and saves Jaime from becoming parts. [Welcome Home, Jaime [1]: Jaime finally arrives home to her parents after her harrowing plunge, near death, and operation to return to a semblance of her life, though with bouts of amnesia. She is apparently engaged to be married to Steve Austin! They agree to start again. There's a tree somewhere in Ojai by a lake that displays the carven heart and their names, which I'd love to locate! [Welcome Home Jaime 2]: Corrupt industrialist Carlton Harris has Jaime under surveillance for use of her bionic abilities. When he's done using her to get some ill-gotten gains {top secret government documents}, he decides to sell her to a foreign country so that they can take her apart and study her. But his son intervenes and they make their escape. Of course, the perps are apprehended. [Rancho Outcast]: Jaime goes in disguise as a spicy hot brunette in a South or central American country filled with the lowest sort of rabble. The episode begins with frito bandido with long hair & a beard. She has to run around the desert on a count of that weasel guy to acquire a computer chip. She's temporarily abandoned out there until finally racing off with the weasel. Jamie Sommers is assigned to protect a foreign leader from assassins, surviving repeated attempts to terminate her as well. Including being gassed in a fake stairwell and sent down a hill to crash, not to mention avoiding being shot! While doing all of this, she also falls in love with a co-worker. Butt can you imagine the sexual capabilities? |
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