V. 7: Restaurants / Dining ___Hell's Kitchen / Hell's Bar & Grill____Draconis Blackthorne
~ M E N U ~
"We gladly Feast on those who would subdue us"

Ramenudo | Devil's Kiss | Olivewood Fire Pizza | Satanic Grace | Themed Dining | Greenland | Fete Diaboli with Iblis | Sir George's | Lucifer's Pizza | Return to Lucifer's Pizza | Mad Greek | Phoenix Inn | Drac Burger & Fries | Beelzeburger: Lord of The Fries | Drac's Deviled Eggs | Hellhouse Eggs | Drac's Autumn Chips & Nachos | Dracomole | Cobbwebs | Drac Suey | Red Devil Pizza | Donut Hole | Snappy's | Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale | Devil's Brew Halloween Coffee | Cloven Coffee | Graveyard Pie | Pumpkin Bisque | Lasagna Jello | Dracmas Cake XLVII | Sabbath Cake | Trader Joe's | China Palace | Northwoods Inn | Ray's Tepeyac | In 'N' Out | Pizza Man | Little Caesar's | Mongolian BBQ | Garduno's | Flaming Wok | Tombstone [DIABLO] Pizza | LA Pizza | Khun Moo Thai Restaurant


Hell's Kitchen
The Satanic Grace

As an interesting option, I have formulated the following 'Satanic Grace' to be said either before or after a meal, thus giving thanks to The Dark Forces of the Black Earth which have caused the food to be created in its many levels, providing a heightened sense of Indulgence, and sustaining The Magical Mindset.

{Reserve a black candle in the center of the table. Clasp hands in the Signum Petaculum position; i.e., entwine the fingers, raising the pinky and index fingers together. Trace a circle above the meal, and say:}

I/We, give thanks unto...

SATAN: Lord of Hellfire, by Thy Essence has this meal been prepared. For this, I/We thank thee.
LUCIFER: By thine Infernal Light did cause this feast to grow and thrive. By thine natural dynamics of photosynthesis did form elements herein to be. For this, I/We thank thee.
BELIAL: From the womb of The Black Earth was this meal formed, Imbuing it with vitamins, minerals, and proteins which provide for Strongest Life! For this, I/We thank thee.
LEVIATHAN: For the waters of life flow to bring the nectar of pleasure unto this table.`The flavor, moistness, and accompanying philter. For this, I/We thank thee.

{Then give thanks to Oneself, or the host, who has brought the provisions forth. Raise Cornu with left hand and say:}


So from one Hellmouth to another, I/We now indulge in this Fete Diaboli!

{Conclude by motioning the Signum Pentaculum upon one's midsection, intoning:}


[* I have found that indeed the dining experience becomes more pleasurable, and the meal becomes even more delicious by this practice.]


Themed Dining: The Total Dining Environment

In preparation of the dining experience, try this out for size: Announce to the family sometime before dinner, allowing for enough time for preparations, the theme of that night's repast. For instance, If the food will be Chinese that night, request that all attendees dress themselves in appropriate attire, and accompany with relative music. Have ready suitable decorations - bring out the Kuan Kung statuette, chopsticks, plate ware {china} with Chinese inscriptions. When the Satanic Grace is said, include Yen-Lo-Wang, Mara, and Wu therein. Same with other cultures, with additions to the Satanic Grace for their respective customs.

Some examples:

* Mexican: Tezcatlipoca, Quetzacoatl, El Diablo.
* Chinese: Yen-Lo-Wang, Wu, Kuan Kung. Mara {Buddhist Devil}.
* Japanese: Oyama, Ritrah. Mara {Buddhist Devil}.
* Italian {Roman}: Nero {666}, Caesar, Caligula, Hades.

Etc. Consult The Satanic Bible's Infernal Names for more demonic suggestions. This practice will provide for an exercise in The Imagination, and further promote a sense of tribalism amongst your pack.


{ramen+menudo}. Menudo is basically pork entrails, or "gut soup", while the porkrinds serve as "skin". Add {chicken, pork, beef} heart if desired. And pork has always been considered unholy by blindlighters.

It has been mused that the word "men" is contained in the title, which can perhaps be singularized to "man", alluding to cannibalism. Think Matamoros. {literal translation: "killer of moors", so Vlad Dracula could technically be referred to as such!}

  • Ingredients: 1 serving of ramenoodles {flavor to preference}. 1 can of menudo to preference. Redhot cheetos {or regular}. Porkrinds. 2 eggs. Splash of beer if desired.
  • Directions: Place ramen in a bowl submerged in menudo. Sprinkle redhot cheetos &/or porkrinds on top {or may be added after heating - note: rinds will snap, crackle, pop!}. Add 2 raw eggs. Microwave or stovetop. Add torntillas, &/or Doritos, and/or buttered muffins on the side, or a sandwitch.

Devil's Kiss

Nutterjelly {Deviled nutterjellychee}. The redhot Cheetos are the spicy 'devil' part, the 'kiss' are the Hershey kisses, & the overall confection is highly indulgent!

  • Ingredients: Peanut butter {chunky or smooth}, jelly/jam {favored flavor}, slice of cheese {whatever type}, peanuts {to preference}, Hershey kisses {or Reese's}, redhot cheetos.
  • Directions: Apply nutter as base to one side, press redhot cheetos, nuts, & kisses into nutterbutter, cover with sliced cheese. Apply jelly to other slice, and apply to other bread slice. Best served with coffee, milk, or cereal. Enjoy.
    Olive Wood Fire Pizza

    So far I have ordered from this fine establishment twice, to very satisfactiry results. I was pleased to order the 'Cristina' pizza and the buttered Ajarakhan Katchapouri eggdoodle confection, both which are utter deliciousness.

    First off, this traditional Armenian dish consists of cheese-filled breadough topped with two fried eggs, which immediately looked Lovecraftian to Me, reminiscent of the 'Aenama' piece featuring two irises on one eyeball. The Eye of Dagon or Cthulhu, as it were. Makes for perfect breakfast fare whenever the madness strikes you.

    The Cristina is delectible as well, a veritable Mexican delight fusion - it is a pleasure delving into this senorita's pizza pie, slathered in cheese thereupon, ham slices, oozing with flavor and topped with hellapinos and spicy sauce.

    Service is quick, and well worth the tip.

    Greenland Market

    Located in Hong Kong Valley Plaza, this shopping center features a wide variety of Asian products and specialty confections from all over the Orient.

    IIt can be more or less stated that a whole new and ancient world is discovered upon crossing the threshold herein.

    It is contingent to peruse such 'exotic' establishments to familiarize oneself with a wider worldly knowledge, apart from the common locations.

    There's a deli in the back, and samples dispersed throughout the store.

    As a matter of fact, there is a somewhat amusing aisle considered the veritable 'gaijin' aisle for regular American staples such a peanut butter, various canned goods and the like.

    I had the opportunity to try ginger chips, Kancho* {chocolate-filled treats}; kimchi {very tart pickled cabbage, onions, radishes, etc.; fantastic for stirfry, and as a side dish}; crab & spam riceballs wrapped in seaweed {spam is very desirable in Japan}; green tea flavored mochi ice cream balls in a rice dough; and 'cream collon' (sic), a cookie-like treat with a fluted hard outer shell filled with cream which can be ingested or blown out like a straw; and a scrumptuous amber-colored large peanut-riddled taffee round.

    There is also quite a variety of Nihonshu 日本酒 rice wines and general Sake 酒 liquor as well - the black raspberry caught My fancy.

    Shhh... want to know a secret? I have become privy to information that I shall empart to you, should you wish to consider it. Sushi is 50% off every day at 8pm! So stock up and enjoy at your leisure.

    An educational and stimulating experience overall, plus Asian beauties abound.

    Hail Oyama, Yen Lo Wang!

    * Amusingly inreresting to note is an activity some jokers participate in, wherein someone unfortunately bendung over or squatting, wherein the term is bellowed while the instigator rushes the unsuspecting victim in an attempt to insert interlaced hands and protruding forefingers into the cleft!

    "Gaijin bowl"

    Addendum: Whereupon another recent trip to Greenland Market, I spotted this intriguing confection upon the super secret Oriental 50% off sale at 8pm every night therein.

    When I first saw it, I had been referring to it as an "egg doodle" until I learned its name, when it is actually called "bibimbap" {a catchy phrase which phonetically sounds like a rhythmic beat, and is a type of Korean mixed chop-suey}*, even though the label reads "Rice Bowl Sausage: Rice, Seaweed, Sausage, Y/Radish. Seasoned radish, Ro/Kimchi, Sesame seed/Oil, Grilled Pollack, Egg"; like a Korean egg salad, all upon a bed of rice, then bathed in added soy sauce.

    Amusingly, turns out the so-called "sausage" was nothing more than what appeared and tasted like a cut Bar-S hotdog! Which perhaps may have been added for the resident 'foreigners', or "gaijin" {Japanese}, "oegug-in" {Korean}, "waiguo-ren" {Chinese} demographic, with a familiar element thrown just for the American familiarity. To which I sort of wanted to apply a couple of dabs of ketchup in this select case. In which case, overall, it was rather amusing! Besides that bit of hellarity, it was quite delicious, and has become a favorite.

    맛있는 Mas-issneun!

    Natto {or Not-to?}

    Also acquired upon this outing is this traditional Japanese breakfast repast known as 'Natto', which is essentially fermented soybeans, like bean cheese yogurt with the consistency of saliva {not unlike Edrozeba slime, though finer}, and the smell of fermenting queso. Despite the consistency and scent, it is considered quite the delicacy in many regions of Japan, and is typically prepared with rice and egg. There are actually sweet rice versions as well. All not so far different than enjoying a fine cheese like brie or Muenster and others, and which can be perfectly delicious with the correct combinations.

    Touted as having very healthy beneficial results with a full supply of nutrients.

    The story goes that natto was discovered by accident whereupon Samurai were feeding their horses soybeans when all were all of a sudden attacked, fighting for several days, whereupon returning to the soybean sacks, had found that they had fermented. whereupon tasting the limited resource for survival, actually relished the flavor after all, and thus became somewhat of a staple in the Japanese diet ever since.

    Being an acquired taste, I would personally enjoy it once in a great while, but Am overall pleased with the opportunity to savor this confection with an educated opinion based upon experience.

    But overall, you must ask yourself, "To Natto, or Not-to, that is the question!"

    * Interestingly, there is also another similar dish called "dimjugbagjug-doen", another playfully phonetic term.

    Fete Diaboli with Iblis

    Decided to take a trip over to Valhalla Cemetery earlier today when I spotted an Islamic section therein with some sort of structure resembling a small black table and seat. A mosque? Mecca? Or "Middle Eastern Communist Alliance"...?

    The intent is to enjoy an afternoon repaste in this peacefully beautiful environment. However, it occurred to Me that I was àbout to enjoy ham {Mo-ham-mad?}, so I made an event of it, and entered the section with the hammich, placing the package upon the ground briefly, and after Satanic Grace with an invocation unto Iblis, proceeded to finish the confection in pure satisfaction.

    Whereupon requesting any sign of confirmation for this blasphemous sacrilege, I perceived a rumbling in the earth, followed by the distinct thought that this became a rift which opens a portal in this spot, for this has been made unhallowed ground.

    NOTE: The following establishment closed as of XLIV. Its resurrection should be imminent. Arise! Review constructed for evocations' sake.

    Sir George's Smorgasbord Royal Buffet

    Sir George's Smorgasbord Royal Buffet
    (Theme: Medieval}

    One can almost hear the trumpet fanfare when approaching this establishment, with the logo of a knights helmet within a trapezoid, Old English lettering, stone walls, & black spear like spires ascending straight up to the sky!

    Before Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament (from which it may have been inspired), or even Excalibur, Sir George's Smorgasbord Royal Buffet is a medieval total environment restaurant featuring suits of armor, weapons on the wall, period decor, ornate carpeting, wallpaper, flickering electrical candlelight, attractive waitresses (a feast for the eyes), and best of all, the all you can eat buffet!

    Sir George's Smorgasbord Royal Buffet

    Featuring many dishes from various European (Italian, Polish, Dutch), to Chinese, to traditional American fare, just take your pick and fill your plate! Dine like a king or queen at lavishly decorated tables & carved chairs in stylish lambent surroundings assuring one a most pleasant and stimulating repast.

    In a cheap fast food society, it behooves the dining connoisseur to experience likened lands of multi-sensory delights. Unfortunately, these have disappeared into the mist*, so if you happen upon this culinary kingdom one day during thy journeys, lo, it is not merely a mirage, but take the opportunity and feast sumptuously before returning on your quest!

    Rating: 5/5.

    * These were located in North Hollywood, Long Beach, Arcadia, and one in Arizona. I personally frequented the North Hollywood location as a Dracling, and the Arcadia location until recently. Fortunately, likened and other themed environments exist for those with a finer sense of aesthetics and taste.

    Lucifer's Pizza

    Lucifer's Pizza

    Now open for business! Materializing not far from where The Church of Satan's 40th Anniversary High Mass took place on 6/6/06 at The Center For Inquiry in Los Diablos, a new establishment which gives The Devil his due has risen from blazing hellfire.

    The black edifice welcomes hungry souls into its hellmouth for delicious Italian repast, with spiraling fauna spires to one side, and a black iron "gas" lamp on the other, while within one will find an accommodating Spanish-style iron chandelier and the west wall bedecked with candles.

    Lucifer's Pizza essentially resembles an infernal deli, as it were, the resident Coop-style devil bids you choose your level of indulgence {chili rating}, from non-spicy [0] to extremely so [3] - there's even an an option to purchase and take some of the infernal sauce back to The Lair! And being a lover of hot sauce, this was an extra special treat.

    The menu and various posters are all presented within elegant frames, as they should be, and the food itself is just pretty damned good! Considerately, if not in the mood of pizza, there are also several other dishes to choose from.

    Recommended offerings are the "Hot Chick", Ringburner {hottest dish}, Meat Lovers, and the Pepperoni Ultimo. Available salads are the tossed, Caesar's and Greek, with specialty dessert specials. [see Menu]

    So pop on over in a sulfurous plume to Lucifer's Pizza for some of the spiciest pies this side of Hell.

    Rating: 666/666.

    Lucifer's Pizza is located at:

    1958 Hillhurst Avenue
    Los Diablos, CA 90027

    * Open 7 days a week from 11am - 11pm.
    * Delivery available. Call 323~906~8603

    Return to Lucifer's Pizza
    Lucifer's Pizza box

    Lucifer's Pizza
    1958 Hellhurst Ave, Los Diablos, CA 90027 Ψ site

    While out and about conducting business, we decided to stop by Lucifer's Pizza for a Ringburner and a Meat Lover's pizza. Although the outside edifice still looks splendid, it seems the inner establishment has undergone a 'renovation' since last visitation, and discovered a rather disappointing development.

    While the pizza is still top-notch, but the environment which was actually quite elegant has assumed a more generic quality. Gone are the nicely ornate frames featuring the dapper Hellish Host offering temptations, the wall displaying candles, the black & silver chairs and cozy window cushion replaced by rustic-looking benches, the walls have been painted white, with one even painted to resemble a framed chalkboard with elementary school-looking scribbles and doodles. Glad to see at least the wrought-iron chandelier remains. Only one wall is specifically dedicated to a semblance of the macabre with a collage of pop-art imagery.

    The new pizza box coloration addition features a bit of red accenting the hellfire, whereas it was formally entirely in black & white, granting a 'black flame' effect. Even the complementary menu has gone from glossy black with white and red print to what looks like a printout.

    Merchandise with the Lucifer's Pizza logo are no longer offered, with shirts only worn by the staff {these should be made available again, along with black aprons}; the wonderful sauce is no longer available to take home, and I was informed that the sauce used for "heat levels" is now Sriracha, which is already in the personal collection, used quite often already.

    So gone are some of the charming, more infernal touches which formally gave the sensation of 'Lair Sweet Lair', now giving the impression of being under new, perhaps less imaginative management, with more like a quick take-out pizzaria/cafeteria, and a bit less of a 'restaurant' feel, although the confections themselves can still be well appreciated in the privacy of one's own shadowy Lair. ∞

    • Confections: 5/5
    • Environment {outside}: 5/5
    • Environment {inside}: 2/5
    • Service: 5/5

    font The Mad Greek

    The evening began with some invigorating weight-training, enhancing the physique with strength and vitality, and a contemplation of the night's activities:

    Hellemental Journey...

    Traveling from Los Diablos towards Sin City always yields a pleasant trip through mountainous regions before arriving near Death Valley. On this windy cool night, under the full moon, which quite noticeably resembled a combination of 'Jack Skellington' and a Jack O' Lantern gazing down upon the black earth. One can feel the quiet majestic energy emanating from the mountainside, which resemble a prototypal black dragon's dorsal ridge - a ghostly glow about their outer shape. Just to absorb Belial's might, as Lucifer sways the trees while behemoth trucks course down the serpentine highway, stimulates an evocative invigoration which the welcomed gentle lapse into Autumn brings.

    Mathemagics again...?

    Once again, another interestingly amusing numerological occurrence like last time - this one with the gauge. On the course to our destination, we noticed that it just so happened the mileage struck a '666', or '13666.6' to be exact, and of course later, a '13666.9'. To quote Gomez Addams, "I think "someone" 'down there' likes us!"

    The Mad Greek
    {Baker, CA}

    One spots sporadic signs for miles notifying the traveler of this establishment located in the city of Baker, CA, nearly adjacent to Death Valley, which in this season, is rather pleasant.

    Quite simply, The Mad Greek is a Grecian total environment restaurant, standing blatantly apart from fast-food dives with its artful decor and atmosphere. Certainly, the aesthetics and music are Grecian, but strangely, the entire staff seem to be of latin descent. The service was rather poor {the teller barely spoke English - an ugly little troll of a woman, so the order was explained twice}, but the food was wonderful {although just a bit too small of a portion for My taste and money} - especially the strawberry milkshake, which was also filled with whipped cream.

    We chose the al-fresco option on this pleasantly blustery evening, surrounded by artful statues from the Greek pantheon - Aphrodite, Hercules {step aside, and behold "Dracules!"}, and others, along with hanging garden-vines outside, and some nice vista paintings of Hellas inside.

    Fortunately, attendance was sparse, so the misanthrope would not be bothered by the stares of the herd, although the staff seem to have been disturbed for some reason, keeping their distance, but allowing for full privacy. We had the hearty shish-kabob dinner and swarma gyro, with soft lamb and beef with crunchy vegetables as well as delicious rice - the gyro bread was thick, and seemed to be fried, which added quite a bit of flavor.

    Return to Zzyzx

    We decided to take a slow drive down this enigmatic road, with certain parts newly paved, now leading to the Desert Studies Center, where formerly the road just ended into the surrounding hills. The road assumes an even more eerie quality at night - whose darkness even the full moon's light does not seem to penetrate. The kind of road one can easily picture in a horror movie, with unspeakable terrors awaiting in the deep shadows. Luckily, we actually spotted several bats coursing and squeaking about on several occasions.


    On the way back, we stopped by a fuel station when we spotted three rather attractive females wearing t-shirts printed with the letters "CTU", who promptly began staring at Me, with one actually calling someone on her cellphone while continuously gazing over. We were not acquainted to My recollection, so I began to question why. Colorado Technical University? Catholic Theological Union? No, upon a search, and considering the style and lettering of the print, turns out this was an acronym for "Counter Terrorist Unit" of all things, as related to some Fox program called "24" - perhaps these were extras who seem to be taking their fringe involvement a bit too seriously, or perhaps they were familiar with Me somehow.. In any case, back into the beautiful night returning to The Noctuary!

    Phoenix Inn Chinese Cuisine

    Phoenix Inn Chinese Cuisine
    Location: Chinatown, 301 Ord St, Los Angeles | Number: 213-629-2812 | Hours: 11 am-1 am

    Had the Szechuan Beef and Kung Pau chicken dishes, which were absolutely delicious, along with a generous portion of rice packed tightly in a separate container. Service is polite, fast and attentive. Ambiance offers an intimate dining experience with KOST FM playing softly in the background, although perhaps traditional Chinese music would be preferable to add that certain cultural content for enhanced total environment dining.

    The building really comes alive at night, with neon aglow, drawing the eye to satisfy the appetite. Open until 1am, it is very convenient for nyctophiles.

    Just like if you want genuine Mexican or Italian cuisine, go to the appropriate neighborhoods to get the authentic experience. Likewise, if you want authentic Chinese cuisine, go to a Chinese neighborhood, and this establishment is right in the middle of Chinatown. The "mom & pop" places are the best, being as close to the country of origin as possible. ∞


    Drac Burger A-La Vlad Once in awhile when I Am in the mood, I endeavor to make "Drac Burgers", which optimally consists of "The Works". Well, one day, the question came up about the manner in which all the copious ingredients are preserved within the burger, instead of spilling forth - there's always wrapping a napkin around it like a so-called "wrapper", as it were, as well as cutting them in a manner wherein they are sized and placed to balanced appropriation; then I was inspired by the idea of skewering it in sort of a 'shish-kabob' manner, thus also keeping with the theme, and thus, the photo was the result, and remains a favorite when served herein.

    "The Burger that bites back!"

    Ingredients: One pound 1/2 of ground beef. Dill pickles. Lettuce. Large Tomatoes. Sliced Cheese {American, Muenster (Monster), or Monterey Jack}. Sliced Onions. Avocado. 12 oz. thick Bacon strips. Ketchup. Mustard. Mayonnaise. Large Buns

    * Caramelize sliced onions in pan with melted margarine or butter until lightly browned. Set aside in a bowl for later.
    * Cut thick patties and place them into pan with melted margarine or butter until browned and fried through. Sprinkle with salt & pepper. Add fresh sliced onions for sauteing in juices with meat. {Recommendation: Medium-rare}. Flip with spatula periodically. What you may notice sometimes are the smaller pieces of onion embedding into patties!
    * Slice pickles into rounds or lengthwise.
    * Slice avocados lengthwise.
    * Slice tomatoes into rounds.
    * Place mayonnaise on bottom bun; place slice of cheese. Place mustard on top bun in pentagram formation. Option: lightly toast buns.
    * When patties are done, place each onto cheese slice {additional slice on top of patty is optional}.
    * Apply ketchup in pentagram formation on patty, This will serve to affix other ingredients.
    * Place pickles. If rounds, place five in pentagram formation. If lengthwise, place sideways to support other ingredients.
    * Place caramelized onions.
    * Place Tomato.
    * Place avocado. If lengthwise, place pieces "crosswise" to support other ingredients. Optional: Guacamole.
    * Place bacon strips.
    * Place top bun to crown it all. Toothpick optional. Cutting burger in half is optional.
    * Optional: Wrap burger half-way in paper towel folded at the center, to both keep the burger intact as well as soak up any additional grease.
    * Enjoy!


    Ingredients: One bag of potatoes. One bottle of vegetable oil.

    * Wash potatoes in water.
    * Leave skins.
    * Slice potatoes thickly lengthwise with butcher knife. Potatoes should be cut thickly - otherwise, they will disintegrate and turn into 'hash'.
    * Place sliced potatoes into pot with simmering vegetable oil. Leave until boiling.
    * Add approximately three table spoons of salt poured in "Nine" formation. {Or if you are so inclined, sprinkle in three "sixes"}.
    * Fry until potatoes assume a lightly golden brown color. What you want to create is a plump center with crispy skin. This may take between 20-30 minutes.
    * When done, place fries into container with paper towel, which will soak up additional grease. This will also facilitate cleaning. Just remove towel and discard afterward.
    * Serve and enjoy! Recommendation: Add ketchup.

    {Drac Chips: For "Drac Potato Chips", just cut potatoes into rounds instead. For "Drac Tortilla Chips", use soft corn tortillas cut into triangles like a pizza. This can be done with 20 tortillas or more at a time}.

    Optional: As recommended before, say "Satanic Grace" before each meal.

    Because "Drac Burgers" have long since been a constant, the addition of a skewer thus suffixes it "A-La Vlad", which could actually be anything thus impaled. I thought it added a more amusing element to the dining experience. Enjoy!

    Beelzeburger: Lord of The Fries
    AKA, Lava Burger, Volcano Burger {"Erupts in your mouth!"}.
    • Prepare two thin to medium-sized patties of equal circumference, seasoning them as desired.
    • Either re-slice a piece of sliced cheese into four quarters of whatever variety, or place a chunk of block cheese in the center of one patty.
    • Lay the second patty on top, covering the cheese.
    • Fold & compress sides, creating a pocket. Fry or BBQ as one would a Drac Burger, flipping carefully.
    • Add condiments as desired. To give it a spicy flavor, add hot sauce of choice, and/or jalapenos or habanero chilis.
    • Option: To create a Polynesian flare {Volcano Burger*}, add a pineapple slice with or without the tomato, with Tiki torch candle toothpicks to decorate.
    • Warning: If toothpicks are used, take care to not pierce the burger completely through, as this will result in the cheese dripping through.
    • Caution: Allow a few minutes to cool. Hot cheese will ooze from the center of the patty like lava, and actually aids in the cooking process, heating from within.
    • Serve with whatever sides suit the pallet, although french fries are recommended, with which to dip into the cheese.

    * In Hawaiian mythology, "Kamapua'a" is the demon-lover of Pele, who fertilizes the land by melting the lava rocks into fertile soil. In this sense, the meat can be seen as the earth, with the melted cheese as the 'lava'.

    From The Devil's Cookbook:

    Drac's Deviled Eggs
    {18 eggs}

    I. Peel and cut boiled eggs in half, length-wise.
    II. Remove yolks and place them in a seperate container.
    III. Add three table spoons of mayonnaise to yolks.
    IV. Add one tablespoon of sweet relish.
    V. Mash and mix yolks.
    VI. Add pinch of salt.
    VII. Apply one teaspoon amount to each 1/2 egg.
    VIII. Sprinkle with chives and paprika.
    IX. Serve cold.

    * Serving suggestion: Place on silver platter.
    * Store in refrigerator until serving.I actually brought a batch to a presentation once...

    Hellhouse Eggs

    1. Cut design in center of bread. Halloween cookie cutouts as appropriate, or a pentagram, if so inclined.
    2. Place oil or butter / margarine in pan to boil.
    3. Place bread into pan, place egg in center. Sprinkle with seasoned salt, pepper. Flipping is optional.
    4. Place cutouts in pan around spaces around concoction until toasted.
    5. Move onto plate. Place shredded or sliced cheese upon eggs. May include chopped red and/or green peppers, or salsa.
    6. Dribble desired hot sauce as desired. Recommended to serve with bacon, & may otherwise be accompanied by various choice breakfast ingredients.

    It began with what is commonly known as "hot house eggs", or "eggs in a basket", which sort of resembles an eyeball centered between a piece of bread; though instead of the regular 'hole' cut into the piece of bread, an arrangement of shapes can be cut therein, as far as the imagination can conjure. This can be accomplished from cookie cutouts {Halloween shapes as appropriate}, to personal designs, even inclusive of a pentagram, if so inclined. Flipping the concoction over is optional. The cutouts then become toast. This has become a culinary sinsation herein, and shall be prepared more often.

    When thusly fried, any assortment of toppings can be added. Hellhouse Eggs would include one's preferred hot sauce and/or various peppers, along with either shredded or sliced cheese on top, accompanied by bacon, or whatever other breakfast fare desired.

    Drac's Autumn Chips

    Off the top of My horns, for Halloweenophiles, a suggestion for the next Halloween event, or just anytime:

    As I was contemplating a devilicious honey-baked chip {which resembles barbeque chips}, when with sudden inspiration, I considered how the coloration resembles that found in Fall leaves, and thought that would it not be remarkable if these were cut into the shapes of said Fall leaves?

    These can probably be most easily done with tortilla chips, being that the corn is pretty soft, and many can be prepared at a time. There are leaf cutouts for cookies {and Halloween shapes, of course}, but this can also be applied towards said corn. They already turn shades of orange and brown, with spices added while still cooling {Lawry's seasoned/'seasonal' salt works great, perhaps with a little paprika or chili powder}. A pack of corn tortillas come in plentiful amounts, so it assuredly would be enough for a party. Just use several at a time {extra pieces can be added as well}, cut into shape and add to boiling oil until lightly browned. Remove with metal spatula or tongs onto metal or ceramic container {baking tray works fine} with paper towel surface covering and wrapping to absorb excess oil. Present on Autumnal / Halloween platter/plates and serve.


    Amusingly, adding to the effect by resembling leaves fallen onto the earth, another option would be to make a sort of "nachos" by adding ground beef {earth}, re-fried beans, cheese, salsa, avocado {either on top or as dip on the side}, sour cream, salsa, olives, jalapenos, perhaps parsley for 'grass', whatever suits your fancy.

    Enjoy. ∞

    Corn on the Cobb a-la Vlad


    • Corn on the cobb. Red/blue optional.
    • Flour/corn Tortilla or bread.
    • Wooden skewers or chopsticks.
    • Sriracha mayonnaise {or regular mayonnaise/butter, chili powder, salt}, and/or melted cheese.
    • Boil cobs approximately 20 minutes on high heat.
    • Impale both ends of cobs with skewers or chopsticks.
    • 'Webbing': Apply ingredients onto tortilla or bread, bend in hand, and roll the cob therein.
    • Salacious option with intercourse simulation in covert Freudian gesticulation. Thus, the Suckubus or Sincubus 'web'.


    Description: "Dracomole" is a combination of both mashed and chunky avocado, melted cheese {preferably either Muenster, brie or cream}, with salsa and/or chili. This can be served like fondue, or as a topping for Autumn Chips, french fries or potato wedges, or dip for pretzels, crackers, even as a pizza topping. ∞


    • Avocados {2 or more}.
    • At least 1 diced onion.
    • At least 1 diced tomato.
    • Chunk-style salsa with desired spiciness of one's choosing.
    • Chunky Chili {with or without meat}.
    • Muenster {"Monster"}, or brie, or cream cheese, or Monterrey Jack. Otherwise whichever other is pleasing to the pallet.
    • Optional: Refried beans.
    • Sour Cream.
    • Seasoned Salt {1-2 good shakes to taste}.
    • Optional: Bacon chunks and/or ground beef.
    • Heat salsa and chili under low heat in crock pot, cauldron, or deep pan until simmering.
    • Add cubed cheese to melt.
    • The pureed avocado is prepared and preserved separately {one may add diced onions and tomatoes}, left at room temperature {seasoned salt added optionally}.
    • The other ingredients are added to the mix, topped with the chunks.
    • Add sour cream for desired consistency {none to less for thickness, or more for a creamier result}, or top finished dish with a dollop as desired.
    • Extra additions may include bits of bacon or ground beef.

    Warning: Beware, do not mistake the edrozeba for the felengra!

    VajrapaniDrac Suey
    {Stir Fry noodles}


    1. Oriental noodles, of whatever variety; for it is the base to be flavored.
    2. Meat of whatever choice; either fresh or canned.
    3. Mixed vegetables.
    4. Butter or margarine.
    5. 1-2 large eggs.
    6. Soy Sauce.
    7. Seasonings From The Abyss: Italian seasoning, Lawry's seasoned salt, garlic powder, dill weed, pepper. Acquired from spice rack section at various markets; unless otherwise noted, "5th Season", "Spice Supreme", "Spice Classics" brand spices are appropriate}.


    * Gather noodles.
    * Soften noodles in water until warmed & loose. Preserve water for later.
    * Place butter or margarine chunk to melt in pan.
    * Add noodles, mixed vegetables, meat. If canned, add liquid contained therein. Stir well with spatula or pitchfork.
    * Add egg/s, pierce yolk, mix in.
    * Add soy sauce.
    * Add Seasonings From The Abyss. 2-3 shakes / pinches each.
    * Add water from noodles as needed, turn down heat & simmer down now, stirring occasionally to avoid sticking to pan.
    * When liquid recedes to about 1/2 pan full, turn off & allow noodles to absorb the ingredients, approximately 5-10 minutes.
    * Serve. Add a bit more noodle water if desired per bowlful.
    * Enjoy with Saki.
    * Total Environment option: Additionally, accompany the meal with Asian-themed music, accoutrements, decor, with optional favored presentations of an oriental nature. ∞

    Red Devil Menu
    [Click menu to see larger image in new window]

    Red Devil Pizza
    116 W Badillo St., Covina, CA 91723
    (626) 966-4484

    Menu backLocated in artsy "Olde Towne" Covina, Red Devil Pizzeria is a pleasant establishment with a combination old world feel with new world comforts. Established in 1966, Red Devil Pizzeria & Ristorante features "real Italian New York style" pizza pies, as well as a variety of other wonderful traditional dishes, within their Family and Banquet Rooms.

    I was initially attracted by the smiling devil on the logo, having seen it from time to time when driving through this theatre and antique shoppe-near location, so I decided to finally enter. The screen door and creaking entrance was already a welcomed attraction, harking back to a 'mom & pop' restaurant, where the pizzas are made from scratch. Wait time is a mere twenty minutes, in which time one can indulge in pleasant conversation and enjoy the darkened surroundings, and if so inclined, the bar {wherein a variety of fine philtres are offered}, and wide-screen entertainment.

    Over one archway, the quote "Love Well, Eat Often, & Laugh Much" was a very nice touch as well.

    The delightfully large "Red Devil Special" is recommended, featuring a full combination multiple toppings dish, with red pepper and Parmesan cheese option.

    Whether take out or eat in, the service is attentive and attractive {the pretty brunette wearing a form-fitting Red Devil shirt was a treat for the eyes as well}.

    Quiet, dim {natural light filtering in from the tinted windows during the day, intimate lighting at night}, and sparsely populated when I went, with a satisfyingly delicious repaste, I can say I thoroughly enjoyed My stay here.


    The Donut Hole

    The Donut Hole
    La Puente, CA

    This venture takes us to... The Donut Hole! Open 24 hours, the resident "creatures of the night" can venture forth at any of the 'ungodly' hours of the evening for culinary pastry delights at leisure. This is a fanciful structure comprised of two giant donuts with a quote aptly stating "It's The Quality", wherein one may actually drive through the mystical "donut hole" hellmouth for sweet indulgence. Sort of reminds Me of the tram ride at Universal Studios as one is passing through the spinning tunnel - an amusing optical illusion.

    Established in 1956 c.e., The Donut Hole preserves a past {un}orthodoxy with character and quality in both service and luscious edibles. One can spot this landmark blocks away; a certain 'dominant mass', definitely asserting the 'lighthouse effect' upon the environment, complimenting the area with its aesthetic prominence.

    For the optimum experience, you do not even have to leave the comfort of your automobile while you drive up "Donut Lane" {there is an actual sign}, while the savory scent of these fresh confections fill the air with tempting olfactory delights. However, a walk-up window is also available for additional convenience. In addition, coffee, cocoa, and even soda are also offered to accompany your portion if so desired.

    One does their ordering to the left, while on the right, one may observe 'the works', as it were, showcasing a windowed room filled with several fantabulous donut-making contraptions. If one arrives at the right moment, one can even witness these delectable aliments being prepared right before your eyes. All sorts of imaginable donuts are offered therein, from crullers to bear claws to sprinkled and jelly-filled comestibles. Even the "donut holes" themselves!

    Whether for single consumption or sharing, dessert after a nutritious meal, for a brief snackrifice or sit-down enjoyment with a loved one and entertainment pleasure, the "Drac's dozen" is recommended*.

    The town I live in is a total environment in itself, as well as a time-warp, circa Noir and into the 50's. There are fully themed restaurants who place quite a bit of effort to present an illusion of authenticity from the culture cultivated, to the last remaining and preserved Drive-In Theatre in the area; to the In 'N' Out drive-thru where the attendants are attired in spotless white uniforms and elongated styled caps; to stylized establishments like The Donut Hole where I acquire My pastries from time to time, and actually did earlier this overcast morning. Sort of reminds Me of the tram ride at Universal Studios as one is passing through the spinning tunnel - an amusing optical illusion. So as one traverses through the hellmouth, there are so many delights to choose from - jelly-filled and glazed confections to tantalize the senses.

    I swear I once spotted a greaser-fight late one night while returning from a rendezvous - 50's model cars parked in a vacant lot with several white-shirted greaser types rallied around two others going at it fisticuffs... or did I only perceive this activity occurring... may this have been an impression from long ago? Quite charming, actually. Much of the music drifting in the air is frequently "the oldies" to add to the environment's quality.

    Well, as I was exiting the Donut Hole once, I spotted a white hearse with the "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" logo painted in red across the back. A fanatical Buffy fan? Or are film companies now paying people to carry their logos to advertise letharginator programs, like wearing a sign with "Eat At Joe's" written across it. Which is how I view print shirts advertising for bands like. As much as I may enjoy a particular band or film, I would not display it for the herd to see, but would more likely use it for pajamas, if anything.

    * That is to say, in this case, the price for larger-sized donuts are a small bit more than a usual dozen, but well worth the inclusion.

    Snap-E Tacos
    15251 Amar Rd., La Puente, CA 91744

    Snap-E Tacos {"Snappy's"} is a staple in this neighborhood, with a "mom & pop" feel, and you know you are in for a satisfying repast every time. Located across the street from the iconic Donut Hole, and next door to the In 'N' Out Burger, Snap-E Tacos has remained a favored establishment with their unique brand of Mexican-American food and innovative dishes.

    Ideal for drive-thru on the way to the Drive-In Theater. The carved wooden decor adds an almost dollhouse effect, and it is alleged that a skinny ghost in a white shirt haunts the rear area near the back wall.

    My personal favorites among the offerings are the "Burrito Dog", a thick beef link inserted into a burrito comprised of their delicious re fried bean confection, soaking in what tastes like enchilada sauce with mounds of melted cheese and sour cream. Their chili cheese fries are legendary, served in a generous portion, which could be a meal in itself. The nachos are remarkable as well, with any additions included to taste, like chunky avocado or jalapeno peppers, if desired.

    From experience, these dishes are best eaten with a fork, with a knife included for the burrito dog. And all orders come with their amazing red sauce, a distinctive combination not found anywhere else, complimenting the already luscious food overall with a certain zest, from mild to medium spicy extents. The service is always polite and expedient, and will include extra red sauce free if requested.

    The burgers are thick, juicy, with crispy lettuce and fresh tomatoes, and a plethora of 'specials' to choose from.

    Whether picking up a quick meal, or a whole dinner, the extensive menu offers something for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

    UPDATE: We recently learned that Snap-E's was closed for awhile, due to a change in management and name, now called "Chano's" {although there is a statement at the window stating that it is still "Snap-E's", in that case, the name should be continued}; so we decided to sample if any changes were made to this food genre perfection, and yes, there are indeed some changes. The sauce is a bit different, with a level gone from mild to hot without warning. The burrito dog now contains two slim hotdogs instead of the single thick one. The nachos, though still quite delicious, contains chips that are a small bit crisper, but also thinner.

    Fortunately, the friendly staff seems to have been preserved, with the addition of one or two enthusiastic new employees. Chano's is more or less a small chain of Mexican food restaurants who perhaps actually saved this mainstay from abandonment, although a preferred preservation of the original menu is recommended, along with the name, to maintain that certain quality and charm that Snap-E Tacos is known for. ∞

    Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale

    I had the pleasure of picking up a six-pack of this seasonal version ale this evening, drawn primarily by the attractive art work thereon. It claims to be pumpkin-spice flavored, although It tastes like regular Michelob for the most part - the pumpkin flavor really comes in as an after-taste, but it is pretty good beer nonetheless, even though it is not My regular preference when it comes to the philtre.

    So if you decide to serve the ale, this may be an interesting aesthetic choice to add to the Halloween festivities.


    Cloven Coffee
    {Clove flavored coffee}

    1. Mix coffee beans with 1-2 tablespoons of whole cloves according to desired taste.
    2. Place in grinder until powdery consistency is reached, or use pre-ground coffee & cloves.
    3. Deposit desired amount of coffee grounds into carafe as usual.
    4. If pre-ground, sprinkle & mix ground cloves into coffee grounds, approximately 1/4 of the amount of coffee grounds.
    5. Prepare & Serve as usual. {Optional: place dollop of cool whip and/or marshmallows on top}. For an extra festive holiday flavor, include a bit of eggnog.

    "Devil's Brew / Halloween Coffee"
    Devil's Brew {Orange Mocha}

    Orange Julius Serving: One 16 oz. cup.


    1. One envelope of hot chocolate {instant milk chocolate / cocoa}.
    2. Pour small amount just enough to cover powder.
    3. Stir with fork until dissolved.
    4. Pour a full cup of coffee.
    5. Add one tablespoon of orange juice.
    6. Splash of milk {optional}.
    7. Add desired sugar to taste.

    I came upon this recipe quite by circumstance, and was delightfully surprised by what I found. To Me, it grants the impression of Autumn, ergo, "Halloween Coffee". I Am reminded of Orange Julius and their most intriguing logo, which is appropriate here.

    Graveyard Pie

    Ingredients: Serves 6 -8.

    * Mini pie crust {chocolate cookie crumble}.
    * Chocolate pudding.
    * 6 - 15 crushed Oreo cookies.
    * Gummie Worms {and/or other edible insects}.


    1. Let pudding set in the refrigerator while crushing cookies.
    2. Apply pudding into pie crusts.
    3. Sprinkle crushed cookies onto pie, forming top crust {graveyard dirt}.
    4. Place gummi worms on top.
    5. Store in refrigerator until serving.

    {I attest to the delectability of this confection - DB}.

    Pumpkin Bisque
    {Submitted by Mimi Daeva}


    * 1 1/2 tbsp. margarine or unsalted butter.
    * 1 med. brown onion, chopped.
    * 1 small can pumpkin puree.
    * 2 1/2 c. broth (vegetable or chicken is best).
    * 4 c. water.
    * 1/2 tsp. cinnamon.
    * 1/4 tsp. nutmeg.
    * 2 c. milk or heavy cream.
    * Salt and pepper.


    1. In large saucepan, saute onion in butter until translucent, not brown.
    2. Add pumpkin, chicken broth, 4 cups water, cinnamon and nutmeg, salt and/or pepper.
    3. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes.
    4. Reduce heat to low and add milk/cream. Gently heat bisque until hot.
    5. Option: Cutting out top of pumpkin, serve in previously de-seeded gord. Feed to monster.

    Lasagna Jello

    1. Prepare jello as usual in a square or rectangular recepticle.
    2. When done, slice jello into four even portions.
    3. Scoop jello with a spatula, carefully sliding one 'cut' into bowl or onto plate.
    4. Cover first portion with cool whip.
    5. Scoop second portion onto the first, covering with more cool whip on top. Makes two layers. {Optional: shake candy sprinkles on top}.

    Dracmas Cake

    By a black candle in the gloom, the celebratory confection was prepared to celebrate the birth of The Black Dragon, emerging anew, empowered, in timeless regeneration. The trapezoidal Ziggurat design topped with a horned predatory fanged skull, memento-mori transformed unto a memento vivendi, absorbing indulgence within the flesh. The Pentagram emblazoned upon the encapsulation of the almighty will, combined with the triune numerage of the Mighty Satanimal Beast. The hellemental corners decorated with ziarah pikes jutting forth sharply. Could very well have been a carved plaque in its three-dimensional daemonic presentation.

    Moist, rich devil's food cake slathered in chocolate butter-cream topping, black & orange icing, & triple layered in dark red frosting in between. Apparently made in Hell, it really resembles a purported 'Satan's Birthday Cake', and for all intensive purposes, it indeed is... ∞

    Sabbath Cake

    While watching an episode of The Addams Family {Episode 15: "The Addams Family Meet A Beatnick"}, I thought of an interesting and amusing possibility for a special occasion cake that would include some splendid Satanic aesthetics:

    Example of a tube cake panBy utilizing a tube cake pan, mixing up whatever type and flavor is favored {I would personally recommend of course, Devil's Food Cake!}, with frosting, etc., and when prepared, finishing it off by inserting a black pillar candle in the center. Then, whatever the occasion is, a 'wish' may be uttered and/or thought of, and the candle either blown or snuffed.

    Another possibility would be writing out a parchment of one's wish, and again, either reciting it aloud or just quietly burned in the flame, followed by all manner of rejoicing. Would be wonderful for birthdays and Halloween!

    Now, there are several shapes and sizes, it can either be a round tube cake pan, or if you can find one, a trapezoidal design. The candle itself may be comprised of a figure candle representing the celebrated one {as with birthdays}; two figure candles representing bride and groom; for Halloween perhaps a skull or skeleton, or an otherwise appropriate character; and one in the shape of The Sabbatic Goat of Mendes for Walpurgisnacht, although that representation would pretty much work for any occasion.

    Additional ornamentation could include a pentagram thereon with the center pentagon holding the candle, to a serpent, to some Halloween bats, ghosts, pumpkins, spiders, cobwebs... whatever the imagination will produce.

    On a salacious side note, the candle and tube combination does sort of resemble the 'yoni' & 'lingam' joined...

    In the past, an entirely trapezoidal cake was made for Me, with designs applied by Myself {i.e., a personal sigil and The Baphomet}, with candles placed at the points.

    Trader Joe's

    * Trader Joes, or "The Addams Family Food Shoppe": How I enjoy these forays to this alternative foode establishment, a veritable alienesque source of provisionary indulgences. Sparsely populated and roomy, open from 9am - 9pm, shelves filled with products from around the world, and with a pleasant atmosphere to boot, you won't find Coca-Cola, Cheetos, or Budweiser here, only choice and speciality items for the discerning palate.

    * Trader Joe's Double-Cream Brie: Devilish soft cheese overwhelming the senses with waves of culinary bliss. Excellent on bagels, croissants, and crackers. Although earlier this evening I invented a new confection called a "Briezza" {pronounced "breetzah"} which consists of a pizza of your choice, with brie and avocado chunks added as an extra topping - it's magically devilicious! I purchased an entire brie wheel, considering that it shall be enjoyed for days to come.

    * Blackthorn Cider: I was compelled to pick up a 1 litre bottle of My namesake {sans the "e"} when I spied it displayed so majestically on the shelf - I thought it rather infernal providence, as it were, and might have regretted not purchasing it, so now it joins My collection of rare beverages along with the Logan Fils Absinthe.

    Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Cheesecake: A three-pound cheesecake delight stacked about 9" high. Its round surface will provide a perfect template for a Baphomet design. A photo will be provided when developed.

    * Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate covered Expresso Beans: Name says it all. Perfect for those late-day periods of work, and overall natural stimulant.


    Restaurant Review - China Palace

    I always despise having to go out into the common world filled with the mediocre masses, but I had previously promised My friends that I would, being that it is a special occasion. The night was brisk & cool.

    This year's Yule Solstice feast occurred at a scrumptious palace of gluttonous delights - China Palace. I had the smorgasbord meal, meaning that I just placed everything & anything that struck My fancy down on the plate. I accumulated copious amounts of sushi, egg rolls, chicken, ribs, lobster, oyster, & noodles - I didn't see any squid or octopus, though. They did manage to preserve quite a total environment therein, as one feel as though one is sitting in Emperor Wu's Dining Room. Ming-like Vases, lavishly decorated tapestries, statues of Buddha, as well as warriors here & there, made for an escapade into the culture's feudal period. The staff was attentive, especially the attention of one little Chinese cutie who just kept staring at Me, & waiting on Me hand & foot. It was indeed flattering, for I noticed that she did not treat anyone else there with such consideration. Perhaps My MIng-like goatee & blackened countenance reminded her of her E.C.I.'s, in a Martial Arts fashion. All giggles & bows.

    I was accompanied by some friends & My companion. They managed to make one feel like a quite a king there. I had the whole side of a table, practically to Myself. It was quite an indulgent experience. Interesting to note, is that no-one treated Myself like some kind of stranger, like one would experience at J/C-based Western-oriented locations, in their fearful depiction of Satan. All was accepted, without a word. Perhaps the Satanic aesthetic shares a place with the culture's affinities. When I wrote "A Vision of God", I mentioned that in Oriental societies, the color black is associated with rulership & authority. From a white belt to a black belt, & so forth.

    It was also quite evocative there - it placed Me back in My childhood, when I was constantly surrounded with oriental culture, as it was reflected in My Martial Arts lifestyle. I found Myself perfectly acclimating to the environment, with the various gestures & customs - they all came back, I felt quite comfortable.

    Clearman's Northwoods Inn / Total Environment

    PROS: 1. Constant supply of cheese bread; 2. Endless supply of peanuts which can be casually thrown onto the floor; 3. Waitess' uniforms!; 4. Pacific North-West Total Environment; 5. Dimly lit.; 6. Hospitality and attentiveness; 7. Live entertainment when available.; 8. Intimate surroundings.

    CONS: 1. No arcade.: 2. No Al-Fresco option..; 3. Temperature could have been cooler to accentuate the theme.

    Clearman's Northwoods Inn No matter where you reside, one can take refuge in this most comfortable total environment themed to The Pacific North-West complete with log-cabin styled architecture, icicles and frosty windows decorating the edifice. When one enters therein, it is pleasantly gloomy, with flickering amber candlelights gently illuminating the room.

    Hospitality is assured - polite attendants and waitresses; and one can scatter one's peanut shells about the floor as one wishes - there is even a stage in full view of it all. The dark wood walls display a polar bear, a moose head, darkly-tinted windows to keep out the sun if you happen to venture out after dawn. The repast is exquisite - many meals to choose from, thick steaks, and an endless supply of cheese bread proliferates one's meal. The temperature is set a little warmer than I would prefer, but then again I Am quite literally hot-blooded.

    Highly recommended for your delight, this establishment dies not disappoint. Even the waitresses are attired in uniforms which are pleasing to the eye... and libido. Full home cooked-styled meals assure a lair-feel for those times you desire a fun evening out. Absolutely pleasant surroundings will not disrupt The Magical Mindset. There are four locations in the Southern California Area, as welcomed relief from the doldrums of the lightmare.

    A piano is stationed in the center of the room for anyone who chooses to play jaunty tunes of frivolity and revery to your heart's delight. SO go forth and enjoy thyself any time of year for culinary pleasure.

    This establishment is highly recommended for its ambience, delicious repaste, & themed environment.

    Ray's Tepeyac

    Across the street from Guitar Center, Ray's Tepeyac is a pleasantly dark and sparsely populated establishment in more of a Spanish, rather than Mexican theme. An elegant and intimate environment with a constant flow of chips and salsa. The windows are tinted, which adds privacy, and most of all, the repast is magnificent as well as plentiful, that you may find yourself taking some home with you. The service is top-par, with polite and attentive maitre d'. Excellent for quiet conversations and romantic encounters.

    Rating: 4/5.

    In 'N' Out Urge

    Tonight I had some "In 'N' Out" take out, an establishment native to California, and noticed that there are actually bible reference numbers on some of the containers. She had previously notified Me that this has been an urban legend for decades, and a true one, and in My opinion, is in decidedly poor taste. Lucky for them that the confections are just so damned good.

    On a humorous vein, I remember seeing modified "In 'N' Out Burgers" stickers in High School on notebooks and even cars reading "In 'N' Out Urge".

    *More Information:

    In 'N' Out
    Code Words
    In 'N' Out Jingle

    The Pizza Man Cometh

    Something Pizza This Way Comes...

    Although they claim that they will deliver in 40 minutes, I Am delighted to say that they usually arrive within 20 minutes of calling, and the food just keeps getting better and better. The delivery man is very polite and quick on his toes, and the pizza is always piping hot. This is a reason why Pizza Man has become one of Our favorite eating services and comes highly recommended for parties or a quiet evening with the family.

    Little Caesar's PizzaLet us examine the logo here,to determine whether or not this pizza franchise was spawned from the very depths of Hell itself, with its delicious product cooked with the hellfires of the infernal furnace:

    Upon examining the mascot, we see that it is indeed a rendition of Nero Caesar, which, according to certain numerological calculations, adds up to nothing other than the dreaded 666, and has been named an "Antichrist" in history, for his persecution of Christians in and out of The Circus Maximus, and blaming them for his torching of that lovely kingdom of indulgence, Rome. And upon further consideration, he also resembles Napoleon, of all dictators, whose name has also been calculated to add up to the Number of The Beast; and who has also been considered an "Antichrist" by certain conspiracy theorists. And what does one see when contemplating his toga? Why, a 666 decoration! And what is that design which supposedly comprises his chest hair thereon? A mysterious "SOC"...what does this portend? Could it be "Satan Our Christ"? And even further evidence that Little Caesar's is satanic, what could be more obvious besides a 666? Look at his hand, his left hand at that, what is that he is signifying? The Devil's Sign! That's right {or left}, the two horns up as he munches a pizza slice which could very well represent a soul. Also notice how many pepperonis are marked upon the hellish stanchion he holds - nine of them! Yes, another number attributed to The Prince of Darkness! And the entire image is presented within a portal - could it be a portal to The Underworld? Observe the tiles {on the box} which would normally be placed upon the floor of the establishment - a veritable Portal to the Netherworld indeed.

    Yes, the great devilish conspiracies are still with us in a more covert form now, all throughout seemingly harmless societal icons from logos to mascots. Beware.

    Emperor Mongolian Barbecue

    Absolutely luscious cuisine I have had the pleasure of indulging in many-a-time. The first course consists of egg-drop soup which I absolutely adore - I usually have at least two and sometimes three of these. This day I ordered a combination plate, which one has the fortune to actually observe being prepared with the culinary expertise of the resident chef who spreads your noodles and additional contents {spices, vegetables, etc} onto a large wok-like skillet with flames leaping about, licking around the edges, and is finally brought about to the table after one has concluded {for the time being} with one's egg-drop soup.

    This is particularly enjoyable to Me, considering that I have been partially raised in oriental culture, submerged in Martial Arts, so the evocations always fly when I dine in an Asian-oriented establishment.

    Rating: 4/5. Loses a point for the mild rudeness of one of the attendees.

    Hail Dorje Shugden!

    Garduno's Taco KingGarduno's Taco King

    With three locations in the Southern California area, I have to remark that this is to Me the absolute best in Mexican food.

    My favorite to order here is always the 'wet' King Burrito {Chili Relleno or Machaca}, which just means that they cover the foot-long burrito in a plethora of sauce and cheese, and bring it to the table; although they do not prepare 'wet' King Burritos to go, just ordinary ones, for it would be far too messy in the car; I have been frequenting this establishment for several years, ever since I initially discovered this culinary treasure which was only a block down the street from the former Noctuary, where, always in the wee hours from between midnight and 5 am, I would enjoy a meal with a companion, and other times, just order their bag of chips special, which consisted of a large bag of tortilla chips with many little containers of their unique and irreplaceable salsa, and enjoy a movie or My "Satan tape", which consists of Speak of The Devil, Satanis, Exposing Satan's Underground, with various interviews with Satanists through the talk-show circuit. including Rex Diabolos Church on The Montel Williams Show, Karla LaVey on the Ron Reagan Show, "un-daughter" Zeena {then-LaVey} on a morning show, Sgt. Randy Emon on Pace Setters and Inside Edition {featuring artwork and anecdotal relations by and about yours cruelly}, and others. And there were many instances when I just felt like an ice-cold strawberry-vanilla shake at 3 in the darkness.

    Also available on the menu if you are so inclined, are "cessos" {brains}, "lengua" {tongue}, and a variation of "tripas" {intestines, usually prepared with menudo, which I also call "gut-soup"}. Experiencing Garduno's is like immersing oneself in the ancient Aztec Indian culture and subsequent Spanish integration.

    Rating: 5/5 Goat skulls bobbing in the cauldron.

    The Flaming Wok
    Arleta, CA

    Upon a blustery night that chills to the bone, was a trip embarked to ignite the primal hellfire, spawned from The Far East under the aegis of Yen Lo Wang, to indulge in a feast fit for a Beast, devouring generous portions with hearty gusto.

    The Dragon enjoyed so-called "Combo B" comprised of two entrees selected as Beef with green beans & Kung Pao Chicken, with fried rice & chow mein, all of which is absolutely scrumptious, though the order was slightly different than originally stated. What was revealed was Broccoli Beef instead of Green Beans, with only 6 eggrolls instead of the 10 ordered. One had to await an approximated 5 minutes for more to be prepared, yet no one was notified of anything for more than that expanse, and upon inquiry, were not even ready, so one had to await yet another 5 minutes to complete the order. Then while patiently awaiting, another desirable item mentioned in the menu was contemplated, such as the cream cheese fried wonton, which was unavailable. Even the previously considered Mongolian Beef was also unavailable! So Beef & green beans were replaced, but even that was misconstrued.

    The cute little Asian girl seemed inexperienced, fumbling through the register process and stuttering, while she had to reset/restart the register no less than twice until achieving the incorrect result. Yet still the meal was greatly relished. It seems the professionalism derived from the rear cooking area, while the front attendants were fumbling along all the while.

    The decor consists of a general fast food establishment with a few tables and chairs, white walls with some black tiling, a television tuned to 'Telemundo', and a gold painted Buddha statue nested upon a few coins & loose change. My advice is to enrich the environment with cultural paintings, bamboo frames, rice paper partitions, Chinese music and/or presentations, and candles or lanterns at tables and ceiling hangings for a more immersive experience, otherwise this place is recommended for takeout to one's own imaginative themed dining.

    FOOD: 5/5
    SERVICE: 1/5
    TOTAL: 3/5
    GRADE: B

    P.S.: Horns & Thorns up to the lovely girl with the long black hair & legs who gave Me quite a show while she & I waited for our orders.
    Tombstone [DIABLO] Pizza

    Tombstone Limited Edition [DIABLO] Pizza
    Spicy chorizo, jalapeños, sweet red peppers with real Wisconsin mozzarella cheese and fiery sriracha tomato sauce.

    On this balmy night with the sounds of natives echoing up from the nearby town, evocative scents, sights, and sounds permeate the air. I Am amused with Rollo's insertion of this limited edition Tombstone [DIABLO] Pizza into the infernal Hellmouth {oven} for tonight's repast, accompanied by a side of salad and cheesy croutons {pictured}.

    Now, I do regularly add sriracha to most meals, and especially enjoy it on pizza pies, but this version promises sriracha added right in already, but added some anyway - I do enjoy My hot sauce, along with a topping of salad thereunto as well, making it "California style". Anyway, I found it to be pretty good, with the sriracha sauce cooked into the chorizo meat primarily {pork sausage}, with a subtle spice that creeps up on the taste buds. I would rate the spice level at a 1/5, so add more as desired. It somewhat alludes to Lucifer's Pizza, and the strategically placed cactus resembling a pitchfork at top center is a nice touch.

    In the wake of the yearly emergence of Tombstone Halloween Pizzas, this makes a fitting addition - now perhaps a character that shall be added will be a Devil this year... ∞

    Rating: 4/5.

    Location: LA Pizza.
    Method: Delivery.
    Items: 2 LARGE 14" Pizzas. [Toppings: 1 Pineapple, 1 Bacon].
    Service: A+

    LA PizzaThe night of February 3rd was a particularly pleasant cold one, and the thought of enjoying a nice, large pizza pie sounded quite appetizing, so it was decided to try this place. The delivery man arrived quickly, and was completely amiable, though after taking a quick glance at the surroundings, was apparently suddenly eager to depart.

    Aesthetically, the presentation is about what one would expect from a common establishment - after all, this is no Lucifer's Pizza, but expectedly delicious as a favorite dish accompanied by favored entertainment fare. The logo looks like Pacman consuming two slices, and otherwise two Star Destroyers merging into one mother ship with the others, resembling one large saucer.

    The pizzas were arranged into 1/2 toppings, to create that tropical "puaka balava"* effect {appropriately accompanied with Tiki punch & torches}.

    The meal was customarily consecrated to Satan, which became amusingly ironic considering that a short time afterwards a numerical scriptural reference was spotted on the box, which prompted a quick inspection. After the smoke and haze cleared, the following was revealed:

    "And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers." Acts 2:42 [kjv]

    Irrelevant and in decidedly poor 'taste' of course, but what one comes to expect from petty christian 'acts' after all, and being a 'snackrifice' as it were, we'll just consider that flesh. It was mused that maybe Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses could go into business with certain restaurants using the soulicitor gimmick {complete with typical uniforms} to dispense with propaganda. Something like "Holy Pizza" or some such. Perhaps even a "Halloween Pizza", where employees & delivery guys wear alternating costumes, would be fun and novel.

    Of course, this is reminiscent of In 'N' Out Burger's hidden inclusions on their containers that is routinely overlooked for the quality of the food - in fact, moreso do not even know about it now, nor even care.

    Adding to the charm, the initial ad contains several amusing misspellings, such as "spaicy" {spicy}, "rosted" {roasted}, "chiplotte" {chipotle}, & "2 litter soda" {liter}. Either someone was drunk, stupid, and/or English is not their primary language - at least be relatively fluent & literate in the language of the country one is occupying, please. ∞

    Overall: B+ [4/5] Degraded one point for extraneous scriptural reference.


    * "One seminar on "Cannibalism and Human Sacrifice" covered the subject in more than just words. Students were invited to partake of a cooked thigh of a young white woman.The leg had been biopsied and provided by a Berkeley physician who attended Anton's lectures regularly. Diane basted the main course of puaka balava, "long pig", in Triple Sec, fruit juices and Grenadine. She served it with fried bananas and yams, just as the Fiji Islanders did, adding Tonka bean wine and caterpillars to round out the meal. The meat was described as tasting somewhere between pork and lamb, with a consistency rather fibrous like pork chops, but sweeter, and not quite as tender or salty as lamb. The diners exhibited little squeamishness except when it came to eating the caterpillars. But the LaVey's three-year old daughter, Zeena, finished them with enthusiasm." - Source: The Secret Life of A Satanist, Blanche Barton.

    Khun Moo Thai Restaurant
    Northridge, CA.

    Very indicative of eclectic Americana, nestled in-between a Subway and Domino’s pizza, within an unlikely mini-mall across the street from Taco Bell and a carwash, is this establishment, which carries an authentic, genuine environment, inspired by an olde world atmosphere, reminiscent of Big Trouble in Little China, where you almost expect a Kung Fu fight to break out, or perhaps Lu Kang to be sitting at a table, but at least the patrons resemble these characterizations quite well. Also what really sets the mood for Me, is the impressive silver dragon statuette by the register, and of course the lovely attentive dragon lady as well…

    Confucius say, it would be wise to be prepared to learn a couple of courteous lines to facilitate communication. This restaurant offers many authentic dishes so that indigenous patrons may quell any homesickness. After all, if you want authentic real cultural food, travel to indigenous neighborhoods and otherwise discover hidden gems like this one. A tip is that if you may not necessarily fully understand the sign, it is a great chance that the cuisine is authentic.

    The Dark Side


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