Spechtreum XI: Sinemaerotica
The Rocky Horror Picture Show | The Aristocrats | The Devil's Ecstasy | Valmont | Dark Prince: Intimate Tales of The Marquis DeSade | Quills | Lisztomania | Love & Human Remains | Traci, I Love You | Emmanuel Vs. Dracula | Flesh Gordon | The Glamorous Life of Sashiko Hanai | The Maddams Family | This Ain't The Munsters XXX | Lord of The G-Strings: The Femaleship of The Strings | Sexual Magic | The Witches of Breastwick | Night With A Vampire | Sinthia: The Devil's Doll | Heather Hunted | The Swap | Torrid 2: Without A Cause | Spiderbabe | The Anal Adventures of Max Hardcore 5: The Resurrection
S I N E M Æ R O T I C A

Blackthorne Theatre

The Rocky Horror Picture Show
{X A.S. Directed by Jim Sharman. Written by Richard O' Brien, Jim Sharman. Starring Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick, Richard O'Brien, Patricia Quinn, Nell Campbell, Jonathan Adams, Peter Hinwood, Meat Loaf, Charles Gray. Genre: Sinemaerotica. Musical, Horror, Sci-Fi}

A set of succulent bright red lips sings us into the film with evocative recollections of cinematic sci-fi and horror presentations at the late night double-feature picture show, at times fading wherein the teeth resemble tombstones for the beginning credits, until transitioning into a wedding scene...

Told from the perspective of 'The Criminologist' {Charles Gray}, Newlyweds Brad & Janet break down on a dark and stormy night by The Frank-N-Furter mansion, which just so happens to be in the midst of a celebration; set to the favored tune "Over At The Frankenstein Place", and seeking assistance, the naive couple are engulfed into the darkly erotic world of Dr. Frank-N-Furter and its eccentric residents, who dance the fun and jaunty "The Time Warp". Now this far into The Lair, and still wet from the rain, they essentially become veritable prey to the lusts of their debauched host.

First they meet sullen butler "Riff-Raff", then Magenta, the other weird and wacky celebrants, and eventually the cross-dressed Frank-N-Furter himself, who makes his grand entrance in a number named "Sweet Transvestite".

In the Promethian tradition of Frankenstein, Frank-N-Furter reveals his top secret project this night, and creates his blonde muscle-bound artificial human companion named "Rocky" in this case, with the brain of a child and the body of an adonis. Annoyed by a surprise visit from former "bad boy" lover "Eddie" on his motorcycle, who disrupts this glorious unveiling, and steals the spotlight; Frank-N-Furter rids he and his guests from this sh*t-disturber, to the depression and misery of the lovely tap-dancing Columbia.

Subsequently, after immobilizing his antagonists and an amusing zombified puppet show featuring all of Frank-N-Furter's sexual conquests, followed by a lascivious carousal, a mutiny is attempted by the unlikely siblings Magenta and Riff-Raff, who decide that Frank-N-Furter has gone too far with his depravities, and eager to return to their native planet Transexual Transylvania, dispatch Frank-N-Furter and become the new Alien King and Queen.

"The Rocky Horror Picture Show", or 'RHPS', remains a "cult-classic" which has constantly been on the silver screen somewhere in select theatres since its premiere, attracting costumed enthusiastic fans who have developed their own inter-active additional dialogue to accompany that of the characters, while singing along and dancing in the aisles.

The film features a lively and memorable soundtrack which will provide an amusing listen every time.

Whether attending one of these Halloweenish fun events or viewing the presentation in one's very own Lair, RHPS promises an amusing perusal into this unique erotic musical, which actually jump-started the careers of several notable performers including Tim Curry {Legend, Batman, The Shadow, Frankenstein: Through The Eyes of The Monster}, Susan Sarandon {The Hunger}, and Meatloaf {Bat Out of Hell}.

5/5.


The Aristocrats
{XL A.S. Directed by Paul Provenza. Starring 100 comedians}

The entire film deals with various comedians relating their own similar versions of a ribald joke involving scat, incest, urolagnia, bestiality, and sexual mutilation, obviously intended to be as shocking as can be, for entertainment purposes, and not necessarily advocating such activity; although it is questionable with a couple of these comedians, especially Bob Saget.

Anyhow, 'the joke' has been circling in the background with comedians for years, seeing who can out-shock the other, in a "gross-out contest"-type of dynamic, that is all. Although given the times, it could foressably be updated to include a more relevent punchline for maximum effect; however, the motion contributed by Drew Carey actually carries some weight, and without this crucial gesticulation, the other comedians' deliveries fall rather flat.

'The joke' depends upon a stark contrast of terminology and scenario between the story and punchline, whose roles can actually be reversed as well. It depends upon extreme bad taste, and is ultimately peurile in its purported 'sophomoric' comedy.

Interesting to note, is that the music industry has been doing this for years to gain notoriety, particularly in the 'Heavy & Death' Metal genre - that is, being as shocking as possible both to gain attention as well as perhaps shatter cherished taboos. Howard Stern has also been doing this type of schtick, to great results for him.

The herd love crass humor, considering the popularity of trashy icons pervasive nowadays, being that the majority of them remain in a grade school mentality, largely conducting themselves with embarassing immaturity, though justified with mutual acceptance; and thus, the success of "hack" comedy.

As to the title of the film, also noted is the herd's penchant to ridicule the wealthy, the intelligent, and the eccentric, which is obviously a reaction to their own feelings of inferiority, fear, and resentment since their peasant origins, which is altogether amusing to those who have these qualities, as well as lends a perspective of stratification. The very fact that this 'joke' exists is testament to that stratification.

The film can be amusing for its base descriptions, as in "how low can you go...", and largely depends upon the imagination of the individual comedian, as well as its delivery, most evident with Gilbert Gottfried's performance and Bob Saget's elaborations. It is asserted that much can be divulged about a person's character by the type of entertainment enjoyed, as well as the types of icons they are attracted towards.

THE DEVIL'S ECSTASY
Stonhenge Pictures

"The daemons are, the daemons were, & the daemons shall be again! They came & we are here. They sleep & we watch for them. They shall sleep, & we shall die, but we shall return through them! We are their dreams, & they shall awaken! Hail to the Ancient Dreams!"
- The Satanic Rituals, Anton Szandor LaVey.
The Devil's Ecstasy

And so begins The Devil's Ecstacy, in a ritual chamber, amidst fog & candles, the black altar, upon which rests the "sacrifice" - a corrupted maiden, robed participants, & Marion Adaire, Satan's Priestess-Witch, who reads from the mystical Book of Shadows.

Unlike most films of its kind, The Devil's Ecstacy manages to combine Horror & Porn with an actual plot, but unfortunately, mediocre actors.

The Devil's Ecstacy is about a witch who lures unsuspecting male & female victims to her mansion, which used to be a church of 'god', but has since been transformed into a 'church of the devil', where she pleasures herself with them, then ceremoniously sacrifices them.

I found this movie to be humorous, & very entertaining. Baphomet oversees the debaucheries & sacrifices, although crowned with backwards horns.

The inheritress of the mansion is charmed by the witch, & they have their escapade. She is later invited downstairs to meet her relatives, who turn out to be zombies in cheesy make-up - they should have taken tips from King Diamond! Then she's sacrificed, & resurrected to be a member of the coven of the horny phallus.

A particularly annoying inconsistency is at the very end, when the two 'witches' salute eachother with the cornu, & say, "blessed be!" in an attempted diabolical tone. Although the saying is everything but, as it is used by the fluffy weaker bunnies in their ring-around-the-rosey romps.

One of the actors needs to improve on his aim, which makes for a hilarious scene. Most of the actors & actresses are attractive, for that time {the 70's}, but the initial coitus is rather rudimentary. The more intersting aspects are in the surroundings, & the dialogue.

V a l m o n t
{XXIV A.S. Directed by Milos Forman. Starring Colin Firth, Annette Bening, Meg Tilly, Fairuza Balk, Si�n Phillips}

A wonderful film for the boudoir, dealing with a treachorous widow {Merteuil: Annette Bening} and her lover Valmont {Colin Firth} who make a bet that a certain perfidious woman can be seduced, despite all indications to the contrary. Indeed, where there's a will, there certainly is a way. The aristocratic world of the flesh runs rampant in 17th century France, with passionate lusts, delicious seductions, precarious predicaments, beautiful environments, fiendish gentlemen and lascivious ladies - veritable succubi and incubi enjoying the pleasures of the earth, eachother, and loving every minute of it. It seems this is the only manner where the so-called "golden rule" can be applied in "love thy neighbor as thyself", where 'love' is merely a euphemism for lust.

The sets are absolutely splendid, a definite inspiration for one's own total environment, and the actors, particularly the sublime Meg Tilly {Tourvel} for My taste, are superb. Etiquette abounds even through sinister means. The rest of the plot deals with a series of exquisite enticements. Pre-'The Craft' Fairuza Balk plays nubile 'Cecile', seduced by the salacious Valmont during a tutoring session, and even her boyfriend Danceny {Henry Thomas from E.T.} is himself seduced by the voracious Merteuil as part of a subsequent quarrel between the two, who mirror eachother in many respects, and actually admire one another's ardent natures.

Sadly, due to one bad decision, Valmont falters in a duel, and meets his demise at the hands of Danceny. It was rather humorous viewing the funeral where many of the women attending placed flowers and adoration upon him in the coffin, where the viewer knows he took his liberties with each one.

Personally, I enjoyed this version of the novel much better than the over-hyped "Dangerous Liaisons", which itself does have its points, although Valmont seems somewhat more 'authentic'.

Rating: 5/5.

Dark Prince: Intimate Tales of The Marquis DeSade
{XXXI A.S. Directed by Gwyneth Gibby. Starring Frank Mancuso, Janet Gunn, John Rhys-Davies, Charlotte Nielsen, Irina Malysheva.}

A truly beautiful film about the Divine Marquis - the presentation begins with erotic nude paintings which transform into beautiful women of like-kind in the same poses, all ready for ravishment - the supple flesh ready for the picking - erect nipples, rosey blushing flesh, creamy sensuous skin - such delectible carnality...

The Marquis follows his passionate bliss; worlds of salacious rapport proceeds from his limitless daemonic imagination, words as flaming embers igniting the Hellfires of Lust in all who read his works - even those who claim to despise him deny their own true humanimal natures on the surface, but cannot deny their eager impulses in the shadows of their minds.

The plot revolves around "Justine", a comely young lady in search of her younger sister, rumored to have come in the clutches of DeSade, who did thus fashion her into his perfect creation - a Lady "corrupted" {enlightened} with insatiable pulchritude; educated in the delights of the flesh within a den of sublime iniquity, to learn first-hand the in-depth being of a character she sought to pretentiously portray in her role of actress turned sex-slave.

De Sade is wed, and flaunts his labidonous activities before his wife and step-mother - the question remains however, why did he not take them both as well? In a particularly moving scene, even his wife, whom he seems to ignore for the most part, is not devoid of his debaucheries, when upon complaining of his joyful licentiousness, is taken, by the Marquis' command, by the man-servants on the dinner table as his echoes resound throughout the house, even unto the ears of her mother. Also of note, he decides to take the chambre-maid over the grand piano into realms of ecstasy.

De Sade had devised a deliciously wicked method of sado-masochistic indulgence, and necessitated a fresh damsel upon which to apply it, to her ultimate pleasure, and so he found Justine's sister.

Justine visits DeSade daily in his jail cell {thusly accused of his various excesses, unfortunately, also including murder}, where he awaits execution by the guillotine; but in a gallant scene, is helped by her to escape, wherein the executioner is ironically himself executed, The Frech Revolution is inspired, and they steal away in an awaiting cortege' to his chateu to meet with Justine's sister, as he promised had he lived, and finds quite a surprise upon arrival. Hooded phantoms hide dark secrets.

In the end, the emotion which De Sade claimed was an illusion was indeed mutually experienced by he and Justine, yet he could not abandon his masterpiece awaiting him in chains, and remained "the master of his own disappointment".

Quills
{XXXV A.S. Directed by Philip Kaufman. Starring Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet, Michael Crawford, Joaquin Phoenix}

A highly dramatic account of The Divine Marquis, taking artistic license and an unconventional approach to whom I would consider a de-facto Satanist of his day.

Ever the insatiable writer with a fertile, and many would consider "perverted" imagination, yet the true 'perversion' would be to stunt the creative process with perfidious and sanctimonious limitations, as the man was only remaining true to himself, honest with his nature, and allowed himself to evolve no matter the cost, even at the price of his own freedom and suffering at the pangs of discomfort and censure. Yet this daemonic tenacity was most inspiring, expressing his craft using what he will to satiate, even if only for a small time, the incessant desire to create. And this is demonstrated very poignantly by the character of DeSade when imprisoned - even from his prison cell encased within an asylum for the criminally-insane, primarily and ironically for his writing, where he continued to produce work; and with the help of the wash girl, whom he had of course copulated with, her mind was so enraptured by his passionate words, she delivered his titillating tales to be published until, his what could be equated to a "probation officer", as it were, a priest who is at obvious odds with himself, as his mind often wanders into realms of carnal consideration; discovers the Marquis' forbidden literature is somehow still seeing print. So he orders DeSade's pen and paper taken away, to which he continues to publish nonetheless. It turns out that he had actually been using red wine with a chicken bone upon a blanket to write, along with the help of the laundry girl continues to ingeniously produce.

The next remarkable instance was that after the priest discovers this ploy, the Marquis actually uses his own blood as ink, and his inner shirt as paper, and again sends it out to be published. Finally, this too is discovered, and so he is condemned to remain in the cold, desolate stone cell naked. Yet not even this prevents DeSade, for what should transpire next, but an olfactory literation comprised of feces on the walls, to the utter horror of the clergy man. Ideas spawned in the third dimension brought into the fourth, in whatever manner possible. The voice of genius cannot be silenced, even when all else is taken away. When the priest comes to inspect DeSade, the sight as well as an infernal dissertation by DeSade exposing the priest's inner-most being and repressed psyche summarily drives him insane. DeSade is eventually released, but the priest takes his place within the fetid halls of the asylum, seemingly possessed by DeSade's words which now reverberate in his mind ceaselessly. The impression was as if DeSade's scathing, flaming tongue of undefiled wisdom implanted a demon seed into the priest's brain, and alas, it seems his sheltered and self-righteous, limited comprehension could not process it, and so, madness took effect. But instead of living life to the fullest with this new-found knowledge, he condemns himself to another mental and literal cage bourne of perfidy, much less organized.

In conclusion, for all of the oppression DeSade endured, his body was imprisoned from time to time, but his mind was not. How many artists, musicians, writers, ectetera, would do the same if forced into a similar situation?

Quills is a recommended film for its aesthetic beauty as well as for its penchant to inspire contemplation on all levels of being - physically, mentally, emotionally, and even sexually. In this case, DeSade acted as an iconoclastic libertine to move man's fleshly awareness forward, and was a predecessor to much of the erotic novellas to this day.

To his credit, DeSade also inspired the term "Sadism", the practice of BDSM, and the dynamic of Sub/dom fetish play - but that is certainly not all his work inspired, although his antagonists seemed to have focused excessively thereof - he indeed helped to facilitate, mold, and contribute to the evilution of erotica as we know it today.

DeSade was truly before his time - and now, his opuses may be experienced and perhaps ideas shared by his readers, while his oppressors have passed away into forgetfulness. His infamy preceded him, and his scandalous reputation helped him earn a place in history and thus, bestowed immortality.

4.5 / 5 lashes!

Lisztomania
{X A.S. Directed by Ken Russell. Starring Roger Daltrey, Sara Kestelman, Paul Nicholas, Ringo Starr, Nell Campbell. Genre: Satire, Surrealism, Musical, History, Comedy}

The film alludes to the acquaintanceship between Franz Liszt & Richard Wagner, through a modernized pseudo-rock star cinematic filter perspective. Backstage prior to a performance, the viewer becomes acquainted with Wagner, who amusingly displays the glittery name of Nietzsche upon his bowler hat, indicating his strong influence with the philosophy. During one medley, Liszt mocks Wagner with chopsticks based upon a recent conversation in the dressing room, infuriating him to leave the theater.

Liszt maintains several mistresses, although one night at a performance a Princess catches his eye while he fishes for new prospects, and is actually invited by her to her palace, in which she appears as a rendition of Ivan {or "Ivanna"} The Terrible. During one of several musical waking dream sequences, she eventually manifests as a winged succubus demoness {with Sabbatic Baphomet gesticulations} threatening to amputate the 'may pole' grown to humongous proportions with a guillotine, which she straddles indicating a deadly vagina awaiting entry. Seems he had made a "deal with the Devil"earlier on, and now it was time to address his end of the bargain.

Later on, after initiating a revolution to bring the German people back to prominence, Wagner infiltrates Liszt's mansion, eventually assuming a vampiric role, fangs and all, alluding his plagiarism upon Liszt's compositions. After departing with a small fortune, Wagner goes on to become what the Pope refers to as The Antichrist {referring to his inspirations from Nietzsche's influence}. The Pope {played by Ringo Starr} pays Liszt a visit, admonishing him to exorcise Wagner or face his music being banned from the kingdom. So he sets off to find Wagner, whose reputation has assumed a very Dracula personage, from the townsfolk running scared when his name is mentioned, to the dark castle he inhabits. Seems Wagner also took possession of Liszt's daughter, who has become quite the witch, with her adeptly pressing needles & pins into an effigy of her father.

Upon attempting to enter, he witnesses a Witch's Sabbat spectacle wherein "The Beast" appears to take savage liberties with the various disrobed virginal beauties in attendance. Finally entering, Liszt finds Wagner in a Frankensteinian laboratory bringing his creation to life, his vision of the "superman", who in this incarnation emerges as Thor {although quite a simpleton one at that}. Underwhelmed, he begins construction on another version.

Stereotypical displays of fascistic demonstrations emerge, resembling a Nuremberg rally, where children dressed in veritable 'uber-kinder wear' are programmed for world domination. While discussing developments with their mutual experiences & friendship recollections with Liszt, then amused, subsequently enraged by Liszt's attempt to exorcise him by sneaking holy water into his Bloody Mary {upon which he resumes his vampire appearance}, Wagner himself goes from Germanic casual wear to a very superman-like outfit complete with a logo resembling Wonder Woman's insignia.

Upon the final battle, arising from the rubble, Wagner resurrects as a Hitlerian Frankenstein monster rampaging his way across the earth, destroying everything in sight, save for the uber-kinder following close behind.

The film concludes with Liszt apparently in some sort of "heaven"-like environment, accompanied by his mistresses, when they decide to descend to earth to rid the world of the destructive scourge.

Lisztomania is absolutely replete with dark humor, sensuality, double-ententes, metaphor, & symbolism, accented with amusing musical numbers & satirical displays of historical artistic license, all of which provides for delightfully licentious entertainment.

Love and Human Remains
{XXVIII A.S. Directed by Denys Arcand. Written by Brad Fraser (play), Brad Fraser (screenplay). Starring Thomas Gibson, Ruth Marshall, Cameron Bancroft}

An interesting multi-layered film* focusing on the private lives of promiscuous urban city dwellers. Sexual curiosities yield erotic investigation for one gay man room-mating with a lesbian, both of whom are friends with a dominatrix, whose social circle is haunted by a serial killer in their midst, unbeknownst to them, until finally revealed in the end, who also suffers an unexpected fate.

In one remarkable and disturbing scene, he takes a "job" with her, in which he plays the part of a 'white knight' type of 'good' cowboy dressed in white, rescuing the girl in apparent distress, while the client plays the role of the villain cowboy reminiscent of a spaghetti western, who is thereby admonished to quite literally lick the boots of the 'good' cowboy, to his disgust and dismay.

Another scenario relates the burgeoning sexuality of a young man who harbors a crush on him, pursuing his curiosity until finally submitting to a request that he pull down his pants, bend over a pool table, leaving him in a vulnerable, potentially humiliating position, but which only seems to prod him further with his curiosities. Remembering the previous evening's travails through a miasma of distorted recollection, he inquires as to who it was that brought him to climax the previous night, wherein he was given a dose of heroin, promptly delivering him into an unconscious stupor.

In the end, all are embroiled in a mishmash of dependency upon a serial killer who turns out to be the ex-boyfriend, who proclaimed his love while plunging backwards to his death.

A fascinating plot throughout, eventually revealing the main character contracting the dreaded HIV virus.

Overall, the film displays a circle of acquaintances who partook in rather impulsive behavior, demonstrating the cause & effect results of irresponsibility & compulsion. Partake in the pleasures of the flesh as you will, but just remember that the key to responsible indulgence is the application of epicurean selection. ∞


_________
* Which could just as easily, and perhaps more honestly, be named "Lust & Human Remains".

Traci, I Love You
{XXII A.S. / 1987 c.e. Directed by Jean Floran. Starring Traci Lords, Marilyn Jess, Gabriel Pontello, Alban Ceray}

The story of a hopeful American actress coming to France seeking stardom, but instead gets caught up in the world of Pornography and stripping, both at which she is very proficient. A photographer {Gabriel Pontello} develops and infatuation with her, and sets off to possess her in any way possible. So he formulates an odd plan which begins in a particularly memorable scene, essentially performing a veritable Spell, burning a photo of her while detailing his wish to partake in her flesh.

At first, she decides to go to the beach where she goes topless, and is hounded and descended upon by a slew of reporters snapping hundreds of pictures, no doubt making the center spread of many a French paper the next morning.

His plan unfolds indirectly, beginning with a film producer on his "casting couch" {or desk, in this case}, who enjoys her fully. Next, she is directed to an underground sex club which is quite literally 'underground', as one would have to take an elevator to reach the main chamber. She is prepared for the nights' festivities where two lovely girls bathe and perform cunnilingus upon her, after wards entering a black room containing couches and a circular bed in its center, where she is welcomed by the very randy mistress of the manor, a gorgeous blonde named Monique {Marilyn Jess} wearing nothing but a spiked collar, introducing Traci to the pleasures of the flesh, to the amusement of the others present in the shadows, who follow their examples in kind with their partners. But first, she is instructed to partake in multiple fellatio on five leather-masked men, as well as receiving a thorough tonguing from them all, being virtually worshipped as a sex goddess. The place erupts into a cavalcade of copulating nymphs and satyrs.

Traci and Monique enjoy each other in another memorable scene which lasts a generous twenty minutes or so. Eventually she is asked the question, "Have you ever been dominated?" Traci is unclear on the meaning, stating "Pleasure is love", to which another couple are brought in to demonstrate anal sex for her.

The sex club seems like a Satantric, or decidedly dark tantra group of hedonists that would please The Marquis DeSade, pleasuring each other to great mutual indulgence. In My opinion, this is top-quality Sinemaerotica, and should be in every sensualist's collection.

Rating: 5/5 Phalli.

Emmanuel vs. Dracula
{Year XXXIX A.S. Directed by Keith Shaw. Starring Natasja Vermeer, Beverly Lynne, Kelsey, Mollie Green, Valerie Baber, Ernesto Perdomo, Marcus DeAnda}

A shadowy stranger {played by Ernesto Perdomo} "happens" upon a slumber party whose car just 'conveniently' breaks down in front of their house, out in an isolated location. Clad in black with piercing eyes, he retains a suprisingly evolved manner of deportment, charming the ladies with his allure. A veritable incubus, it is revealed that he just so happens to specialize in manifesting their deepest desires, and bestows orgasmic bliss with a mere thought - the power of suggestion and hypnotic ecstasy. One by one they are transformed into creatures of the night after experiencing heightened sensations of erotic epitome. Even one prudish shrew who initially resists is swept up into the whirlwind of lust. A veritable Bachannal erupts as secret desires are indulged unto mutual gratification.

Some particularly enjoyable scenes include the apparent application of sympathetic Magic, utilizing an effigy to seduce several women and induce pleasure beyond their wildest dreams, as they are awakened to the highest potential of their succulent flesh. Somewhere along the line, two male strippers arrive attired in Police uniforms, who end up playing key roles as they are also manipulated by "The Dark One" to commit some nefarious deeds to enrapture the women and spread the influence of the undead.

All submit except for 'Emmanuel', a lovely Nordic character whose sinemaerotic saga spans decades in various incarnations, this one played by Natasja Vermeer; and even through her own application of wit and guile, cannot completely destroy the vampire, as he finally materializes as the element of fire in the end.

For some reason, probably in an attempt at climactic drama, "The Dark One" is removed in favor of a lesser "actor" {Marcus De Anda} who plays the role of Dracula, although "The Dark One" was already quite well suited already, and could have played that role better.

For those who enjoy "Gothic" and vampire fetish, this film contains liberal uses of fog, dramatic lighting, nice sets, attractive performers, stimulating accoutrement, fangs, and reasonably acceptable 'acting' {especially that of Perdomo}; while no 'Caligula', "Emmanuel vs. Dracula" definitely stands out amongst the plethora of typical erotica fare.

Rating: 4/5.

Flesh Gordon

An amusing parody of the legend and mythos of the character of Flash Gordon with erotic modifications throughout the film, from phallic crafts, nomenclatures, to blatantly phallic weapons. I recall hearing about this movie once upon a time as I saw it advertised on a billboard and wanted to see it then, and did not let a little thing like 'chronology' stop Me; but it was not until now when a VHS tape was recently excavated during the Lair relocation that I became reminded of its existence, and decided I had to watch and review it.

A mysterious "Sex Ray" bombards earth, causing those subjected to be overtaken in orgiastic impulse, until it finally makes contact with an airplane carrying one "Flesh Gordon" {Jason Williams} and "Dale Ardor" {Suzanne Fields} who are also momentarily overwhelmed by its libidinous effects, until the plane is doomed to collision due to the preoccupation of all of the passengers inclusive of the pilot and crew; so he takes Dale in his arms and proceeds to parachute out into the cold night. As they descend, Dale, in a really bad platinum blonde wig, decides to perform fellatio on Flesh until culmination.

When they finally land in an expanse of woodland, they are met by a "Dr. Jackoff", a scientist who has constructed a spacecraft, who proceeds to array Flesh and Dale with lurid conspiracy theories {ironically, he would have done well to guest on C2C!}. Eventually, he explains that he has traced the origin of the sex ray to a far off planet with the predictable name of "Porno", which is ruled by an "Emperor Wang" who wears far too much makeup - a planet dedicated to sensual indulgence {rather like The Rocky Horror Picture Show's "Transsexual Transylvania"} which is made clearly evident by the majority of the main chamber floor occupied by nude nymphomaniacal lovers constantly undulating in Satantric bliss under the sovereign gaze of Wang, who eventually takes a liking to earth woman Dale Ardor, and plans to 'marry' her to the chagrin of Flesh Gordon, who causes a minor disruption therein, and is therefore at first condemned to immediate execution, but at the behest of The Princess who also happens to be a Sorceress, convinces Wang to "trial by ordeal", which involves a battle with feral cat women. Her desire is rewarded with a dream-like sexual sequence with the so-called "blonde giant" Gordon. They are eventually interrupted and attacked by Wang's forces, and escape to Arboria where they meet with a "Prince Precious", a gay Robin Hood-type with anthropic pretensions {the character actually reminds one of a hippie-Jesus in appearance, ideology, and mannerisms}, and teams up with Gordon and Jackoff to supplement their own rebel group.

The only weapon which can counter the sex ray is the Sorceress' {who parishes in the confrontation} nipple pasties which Dr. Jackoff so gallantly applies to himself, lifting his shirt to prepare for battle. Wang whips out the heavy artillery with what he calls "rape robots" with drills for penises, which did inspire a chuckle or two.

Dale Ardor is kidnapped by a group of Amazonian lesbians and is subjected to their cunnilingual initiation rites until 'rescued' by the group, to which the lesbians release a locust-like creature {which later became known as a "penis fly trap"}. A quick mention is appropriate here of another subterranean monstrous denizen resembling a cyclopsian basilisk-like penis {a "penisaurus", a-la the "one-eyed trouser snake" metaphor which blinks!} who earlier on attacked the trio as they made their way into the caves to escape Wang's effeminate guards sent out to retrieve them.

In danger of The Palace being overthrown by the earthling interlopers, Wang descends into his own Ritual Chambre wherein resides a demonic statue which, like the Golem, comes to life at his beckoning, and therefore sets out to sexplore the kingdom {I thought it particularly humorous that this creature's voice and attitude resembles that of Barry White's}, and in a decidedly Kong-like manner, abducts Dale and takes her up with him atop "The Murder Tower", were the final conflict with Flesh and company occurs.

Of particular note, a line spoken by Wang to the ungrateful invaders when admonished to remove the sex ray, was that he was doing them a favor, and I concur. The perfidious curse must be vanquished, that man's cities may truly become caves for the humanimal beasts of the field, that they may partake their fill without guilt or unreasonable restraint {as opposed to "responsible indulgence"}. And so let humanimals pleasure themselves in all manner of divine perversity - let indulgence reign supreme!

Flesh Gordon received an "R" rating only because genital contact was not directly shown, otherwise, it surely had the potential to receive an X - XXX rating. Plenty of nudity to whet the pallet, but because of the "soft-porn" content, ends up more of an erotic "B-movie" with typical porno parody dialogue and amateur acting, which should have really gone into the actual sex acts, which could have made it a legendary pornographic film in the mode of the immortal Caligula, but instead is relegated to obscure B grade fare, although it still makes for naughty laughs and salacious comedy. I commend the Producers for at least "pushing the envelope", as it were, and expanding the erotic-artistic vision of the rating system, crossing the bridge from the off-white screen of the strictly pornographic genre into the silver screen of the cinema, thereby becoming "sinema", thus contributing to the incremental Return of Babylon.

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai
{2007 c.e. Palm Pictures. A Film by Mitsuru Meiki. Starring Hotaru Yukijiro, Matsui Tetsoaki, Hayami Kyoko}

After exhaustively stumbling into a restaurant from a recent "job", a cute little asian prostitute is shot in head during an altercation therein, lodging a bullet in her brain, stimulating super-genius comprehension, akin to Homer Simpson's up-the-nose crayon which normalizes him. The killer becomes aware of her identity and residence by acquiring her cellphone which was dropped during the scuffle. Turns out she accidently made away with an object saught by the secret-spy-assassin. Tieing of waiting for herat her apartment, he finally sets out to find her after imbibing her mother's gracious meal.

This embedded object also yields hallucinations and uncontrollable arousal which manifests spontaneously. The hallucinations contain political satyr on American President George Bush, whose cloned finger adorned with an American flag emerges from a lipstick container to molest Sashiko as well as drive the bullet back into place to preserve her under control, where she travels from place to place as a veritable zombie, seducing a professor and his son, a random businessman, and is even taken by a police officer while in a hypnogogic state.

Comparisons can be made with the Bush finger representing western-originated morality being imposed upon international cultures, via media programming and military infiltration.

The erotica is in the so-called "pink" sinemaerotica presentation, wherein genitalia is not actually shown, although the situations are quite stimulating nonetheless, with copious quotes from Noam Chomsky and discussion on quantum physics during intercourse!

She eventually realizes that she has the ability to destroy the world via a transmitter-box with the capability to launch nuclear missles across the face of the earth, thus initiating World War Three. But wouldn't you know it, at the very last moment, while ambling upon the beach right after a cave massacre, the bullet falls right out her head, whereupon she resumes a vapid mentality, apparently forgetting all which transpired...

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is a sinemaerotic thriller, asserting artistic political commentary with a subtle James Bond twist. Although I do not agree with all of the political and philosophical sentiments expressed in this film, the mental and erotic stimulation is a remarkable combination well done herein. The imagination and writing placed into this presentation is commendable, and could very well mark an evolution in the Sinemaerotic genre.

4/5


I was asked to review this film from Palm Pictures, an independent film company.

The Maddams Family
{XXVIII A.S. Directed by Herschel Savage. Starring Ona Zee, Mike Horner, Charisma, Deidre Holland, Kim Angeli, Ron Jeremy, Jon Dough. Genre: Sinemaerotica, Comedy, Parody. Rated: XXX. Wicked Pictures. 69 minutes}


"They're creepy, but more horny. They'll do you in the morning. Each other they're adoring, the Maddam's Family. The men are hung like horses. They don't need back up forces. They always cum in quartses, the Maddam's Family. She's Sweet, He's neat, Feel the heat. So when you need some lovin, or some cushion for your shovin, we got what you've been wanting, the Maddam's Family."


CAST ANALYSIS

Based on The Addams Family, the characters herein are amusingly renamed, albeit rather predictably vulgar:

Gomez is "Cortez" {probably the best cast; Mike Horner looks like a Spaniard and is aptly named after the legendary foremost Conquistadore}, Morticia is "Horticia" {Ona Zee in a bad wig with bangs, yet still very succulent; while Morticia seemed to be about a 5 o'clock on the Personality Synthesizer Clock, Zee's frame is more of a 7 o'clock}, Cousin Itt is "Cousin Tit" {the generously-busted 'Charisma' with hair pulled down over her face while wearing sunglasses}, Uncle Fester is "Pester" {Ron Jeremy in bald cap and hooded robe with a moustache; obviously, Fester is clean-shaven and wears a cassok}, Wednesday is "Tuesday" {a cute Kim Angeli; NOT a daughter, but the 18 y.o. niece, or "kissing cousin", as it were}, Thing is "Thingie" {a female hand, more akin to Lady Fingers herein}, and Lurch is "Crotch" {this actually works well with a groaning Jon Dough in zombie-like make-up}. Fortunately, there are no versions of Grandmama or Pugsley, which probably would have proven too disturbing.

PLOT

Seems The Maddams Family are facing possible financial hardship because peace has broken out across the world, which lends to the conjecture that they profit from warfare, among other things, a-la Basil Zaharoff as "agents provocateurs".

Being exclusive individuals who find general herd interaction frustrating and intolerable, they must divulge a method to work from home. Their brainstorming results in deciding to enter the erotica biz and run an elegant brothel from the Victorian Manse, but first, they must sexercise to gain sexperience, and diligently begin practicing upon each other at every opportunity.

To the tune of her French enunciations, Cortez and Horticia passionately indulge in each other in the bedroom which features gloomy surroundings and a stained glass window; shedding her form-fitting dress, she reveals alluring black lingerie while Cortez savors and plunges into her sumptuously. Cousin Tit and Tuesday have a delightful romp; the galavanting Cousin Tit* initiates an intense orgasm in the playfully coy Tuesday, who claims to have never experienced that degree of pleasure before; a salacious Cortez subsequently enjoys nubile Tuesday as well; later, a virginal Uncle Pester and Tit cavort in the garden, while she is very well surprised and pleased by the proportions of his appendage {"Who knew what was beneath that robe?"}; and finally, a blond house inspector arrives to assess the property while accompanied by Horticia, discover Crotch receiving a helping hand from Thingie, when they decide to converge upon the situation as well, which lasts a good 15 minutes or so, in various enjoyable positions, with Crotch periodically uttering his characteristic groan from time to time.

Other scenes include Cortez fencing with Crotch in the courtyard, and towards the end, Horticia clipping roses. Music is jaunty, ranging from a customized variant on the Addams Family theme, to the classically 'spooky' Beethoven's Fifth, and even a couple of instances of black noise, believe it or not.

In the end, the business of pleasure is a success, and The Maddams Family prevail by their resourcefulness, truly utilizing their best assets.

4/5


Addendum

For one who has long since appreciated, and even personified The Addams Family in many respects, I have to admit that I was somewhat taken aback by this when I first became aware of its existence around the time when the first movie was released as I perused a video store. It almost seemed 'sacriligeous', yet still, there was something quite compelling about a proposed erotic version of these characters that was nestled in the back of My mind - after all, Morticia Addams and the fetishistic like do hold quite an obvious prurient appeal, what with her tight black dress and long black hair, and very well serves as an E.C.I. So when I recently had the opportunity to view this presentation, I was curious to survey what had been created. Plus, with some of the recent wonderfully Satantric artwork created by Isabel Samaras in this vain, it held even more of an attraction.

Having the entire original series collection, the films {even the underwhelming "Reunion"}, the charming Halloween special, along with various other collectables, the parody is a must for those who can appreciate such eccentrically odd comedic sinemaerotica.

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* Humorously appropriate, considering in The Addams Family series, Cousin It is known as quite the playboy.

This Aint The Munsters XXX
08 c.e. Directed by Anton Slayer. Starring Lee Stone • Roxy Deville • Shawna Lenee • Trent Soluri • Gavin Wells • Jenna Haze • Whitney Stevens • Mick Blue • Evan Stone • Victoria Sin • Aiden Starr • Sammie Rhodes • Voodoo • website

Obviously produced on a condensed budget, the costumes and sets are amateurish {gives the impression of gathering props from a Halloween store}, and the dialogue / plot is predictably weak, but this is to be expected from most erotic productions of the sort. The activity is rather rudimentary, focusing on clips rather than an overall storyline, but that is beside the point. The concentration should be on the attire, activity, and the attractiveness of the performers.

Key scenes include:

* There allusions to "Lily Munster, Girl Model" in the very beginning, as a salaciously enthusiastic blonde pleasures herself with a glass phallus, which turns out to be either a veritable AHC created by Grandpa, or Grandpa in transformation. Up until that point, the scene seems rather gratuitous.
* Seems Marilyn finally found a beau, enjoying themselves when he comes calling.
* Eddie, now a young man, indulging in two Goth girls in a dark club via night vision, under the forbidden pretense of a 'hidden camera'. {Victoria Sin / Aiden Starr}
* Another rather gratuitous scene involving two 'goth punkers' {reminiscent of The Misfits} having some fun in the boneyard. {Voodoo / Whitney Stevens}
* Finally, to celebrate their 600th Anniversary, Herman & Lily picnic in the graveyard where he reveals his surprise, to their great mutual gratification. Seems Grandpa and Herman considerately went out of their way to acquire a very special gift for Lily, which she greatly appreciates. Of note, the subtle green tinting works very well in depicting the proposed pale green flesh.

Character analysis:

* Herman: Unfortunately, he is depicted more like a retard here, instead of the child-like, though responsible husband he is. Played by a muscular Lee Stone, which seems to work pretty well.
* Lily: Played by the attractive Roxy Deville, it works very well here too. The fetishistic makeup and outfit {although oddly sans the pendent} makes the character for those who appreciate the 'gothic' beauty aesthetic.
* Marilyn: A pretty good depiction of the 'normal'-appearing character {sort of reminiscent of "Sally" from "Davey & Goliath}, looking excessively 'wholesome', which does add a 'forbidden' appeal overall when she breaks free of the typical conventionality of the role, revealing quite the wild little minx. {Shawna Lenee}
* Eddie: Grown up but still in the little suit. Barely acceptable, but whose howls make for an amusing scene. {Trent Soluri}.
* Grandpa: Fortunately, no real involvment except as a more or less periphery character supporting Herman. {Gavin Wells}.

Bonus material include interviews with performers, making of featurette, blooper reel, director's commentary, photo gallery, & even a black & white version of the movie.

In the end, it seems that such a production was destined to be done, as have several others, including the much better made "Maddams Family" in this vain.

Overall, an amusing little parody for what it is, on the beloved series The Munsters, which is easily considered on its own merit {considering the nature of the production, it is easy to separate the two}, and which remains a frequent pleasure.

The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String

Obviously, "Lord of the G-Strings" is an enjoyable spoof on "Lord of The Rings", and a pretty well-done one at that, considering the usual in this genre. The actresses are gorgeous, the film is essentially surrounded in beauty, though the dialogue is predictably weak, as is the acting, but it is all in good fun, after all. "Schmirnoff" The Wizard is a likable goofball, the Orcs here called "Dorcs" are a bumbling lot, "Dildo Saggins" takes the place of Bilbo Boggins as an enchanting girl who possesses the omnipotent G-String which must be destroyed lest it be captured by "Sourasse", who's primary weaponry consists of his deadly sulphurus emanations, battles Schmirnoff in the end. Accompanying Dildo throughout "Diddle Earth" are two lovely "Throbbit" companions who routinely pleasure each other in a lesbian lust-fest at every opportunity, although the most remarkable scenes have to be the orgy beside the camp-fire {which lasts a generous amount of time, accompanied with Middle-Eastern music which was a really great touch}, and in the pub with a very randy waitress redhead. The resident Dryad seems to be misplaced, and the two faeries are annoying until they join in the fun.

Towards the conclusion of the film, it unfortunately takes a steep direction with the inclusion of a cell-phone and a really lazy effort at the celebration by all present. The main thrust of this presentation is Lesbianism, with only one man/woman scene, although it is very entertaining nonetheless.

Eye candy all around.

4/5.

Sexual Magic
{4/30/2001 c.e. Directed by Edward Holzman; Starring Jezebelle Bond, Jacy Andrews, Amber Newman, Teanara Kai, Nikki Fairchild and Jared Lincoln. 85 minutes}

A pretty blonde-haired college girl {Jacy Andrews} moves into a house which, unbeknownst to her, is populated by room-mates who also happen to be... Witches - not Halloween hags mind you, but gorgeous, succulent ones who tip the Lust balance factor decidedly to the left.

The film begins with a mysterious and scantily-clad masked woman casting a seperation spell on a couple, beseeching the dark forces for victory over her rival, the nubile Andrews, who is completely ignorant of Witchcraft, and is in the beginning, taken aback and skiddish of the subject as a whole, until her room-mates begin to help her in her academic and romantic endeavors. It is an impressive introductory scene, especially with her remarkable attire, which includes a proper pentagram centered about her breasts held together with a series of chains at the points, creating very lovely ritualistic ornamentation.

Eventually, they ask Andrews to join their "Coven of The Pentagram" lead by Jezebelle Bond, a brunette bombshell who takes a liking to Andrews, for their eventual mutual gratification, even though she is engaged to be married. She does attend one of their informal gatherings, where one of the girls {Taenara Kai} states her innermost desire, to find a man that will be her absolute soul-mate, desiring to be rid of her virginity with such a special partner, and they all arrange a ritual date to aid in her goal. {A Satanic Witch can easily accomplish this using Lesser Magic, wile and guile, to gain the lover she seeks}. One of the girls' {Nikki Fairchild} boyfriend arrives {seems that he was also summoned via a previous Lust Spell}, and later depart for D/s carnal indulgence {in sunglasses and high-heels, no less!}, spied by Andrews, who soon afterwards reposes upon a couch to satisfy her own inspired passion.

Suddenly, Andrews begins experiencing a slew of misfortunes from missing a class, the car not starting, a broken heel, a failed exam, and her fiancee' breaking off the engagement, which arouses the suspicion of the other witches that some ol' Black Magic is afoot, and thereby initiate a counter-spell, eventually walking into Nikki's room where evidence of the said Black Magic is discovered, and she is banished from the Coven, despite her obvious shock and adamant denials.

At the ritual, all are sensually dressed in black sheer lingerie and cloaks {very ideal, in My opinion}, and in the vein of "The Craft", begin invoking select dark goddesses from the cardinal points, including Hecate {"Patron Goddess of Witches"}, Pandora {"Goddess of the hidden and forbidden"}, and Diana {"Goddess of The Hunt"}, amidst howling wind, flashes of lightning. and thundering tinpan. As the rite draws to a close, a young man casually driving by becomes compelled to find this gathering, and unites with Kai to fulfill her wish. For the next phase of the evening, the witches move inside the house and produce a clay effigy to bring about Andrews' wish to reunite with her fiancee' , rubbing it with various oils until it dissappears underneath a cloth - she is directed into another room where a man in a loincloth awaits her, seemingly materializing from the clay doll, to serve as a sympathetic avatar to grant her desire.

In conclusion, there is an intriguing twist in the plot, as the 'Black Witch' is finally revealed, and a Magical battle is waged which ends in a decidedly 'decorative' manner.

Besides those already mentioned, there are a few lesbian encounters, a threesome with Nikki's unsuspecting and zombified boyfriend {which the poor man is prevented from remembering}, and a delightful garden sequence between Andrews and her fiancee'. As a side note, the film was released on Walpurgisnacht XXXVI.

Rating: 4/5 Phalli.

The Witches of Breastwick
{XL A.S. Director: Jim Wynorski. Starring Matt Dalpiaz, Monique Parent, Jay Richardson, and Glori-Anne Gilbert}

A man named 'David' {Matt Dalpiaz} is plagued by a dream and becomes obsessed with finding the source of it - three succulent succubi undulating in sexual abandon by raging flames before being sacrificed. He and wife 'Tiffany' {Monique Parent} are the decendants of those who burned their ancestors at the stake in eras past. This takes he and his deliciously erubescent wife out into the wilderness where the car breaks down for no apprent reason outside a cabin where he seeks to use the phone, in which reside three very familiar beauties. One delay after another occurs, including the secret administering of a potion into their wine {which would have been better applied with a pentagram "poison ring"}, until they are obligated to stay the night. He remains haunted by a pervading feeling of impending doom, which does not prevent the lovely ladies from taking their pleasures with he and his wife, from the jacuzzi to the bathtub to the woods to the bedroom.

The couple are regailed with the legend of "La Cacanya", a creature lurking about the surrounding forest when suddenly, a stunning brunette appears before him in the darkness, who after quite a delightful indulgence, warns him of the deadly intentions of the three witches, the so-called "Daughters of La Cacanya" {one of whom wears a weakagram, which does not seem to quite work}. But they are certainly a preferred alternative to the typical warty hag depiction.

The next morning, David finds the car operable, but his wife is missing. Upon a frantic search, he meets with the lovely brunette again, who arms him with a silver blade, supposedly the only weapon effective against a witch. He finds Tiffany strapped to a stake by a bonfire, ready to be sacrificed. La Cacanya makes a brief appearence, and David predictably rescues the wife at the last moment.

Unfortunately, the lengthy lesbian scenes seem like gratuitous fluff, with seemingly minimal contact between the women. The title is obviously a double-en-tendre' on the film "The Witches of Eastwick', although this plot really has nothing to do with that story at all. The performers are visually superb, although their talents are not maximized herein.

Rating: 2/5.

Night With A Vampire
{Midnight Video. Starring K.C. Williams, britt Morgan, Leilani.}

This presentation begins in the typical manner of someone {in this case, an akward ventriloquist} who seeks to be succored through his predicament and finds himself at a house with a front door and porch during the daytime, with an appearence more likened a gingerbread lady's cottage than a vampire's castle, and is answered by a maid in a predictably skimpy fetishistic french maid outfit, who takes an immediate liking to the silly fellow with his dummy.

He is invited to use the telephone, so he waits in the foyer for the lady of the house to make her entrance; also waiting are a group of other callers lounging about on a comfortable-looking couch, and she finally arrives - Elvira-esque, and looking very sultry in her black garments despite her obvious black wig. The maid is the resident "Renfield" of the film, serving hors d'ourves for the guests, and who "accidentally" spills some tidbits into the ventriloquist's lap, to which he must "get out of those filthy things", and change clothing.

Reminiscings of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' comes to mind, when 'Brad and Janet' were forced to change their clothing after being rain-soaked, despite Brad's spirited repetitions to just wanting to use the telephone and return to the car.

And thus begin the seductions. The guests disappear into their respective bed chambers for pleasure and pampering, leading to several eye-pleasing scenes. The Vampiric Succubus appears in each one of their rooms time after time indulging herself in first their bodies, then their 'blood'...

In his search for the telephone, the ventriloquist discovers the maid masturbating in one of the bedrooms, is drawn in by her spell, and his awakened libido, finding himself partaking in the sacrament, inclusive of various methods of osculum infame {sodomy}, which is obviously one of the specialties of this performer Leilani. She zaps herself from place to place, from position to position, virtually 'raping' him, to his noticable great mutual delight. She has her way with him, after which he roams from room to room until he reaches another one in which he is seduced by another victim recently turned Vampiric Succubus, slathering him with the Satantric Communion.

"Bobbo" the dummy himself wanders from room to room witnessng the activities of the resident creatures of the night, to which he sets out to warn his buddy about the dangers, but will not listen until he receives his pleasure from a blonde succubus.

Finally, the Vampiress of the house is impaled, and all are freed.

During the ending credits, humorous blooper scenes are spliced in, but the chiron leaves much to be desired. Producers could have arranged for an Olde English font or dripping blood lettering. The sex is rather rudimentary for the potential here. Recommended as a rental only.

Rating: 3/5.

Sinthia, The Devil's Doll

Sinthia: The Devil's Doll I recently had the opportunity to view the second feature on the Satanis DVD entitled "Sinthia: The Devil's Doll", which is easily probably the worst movie I have ever seen, even with the nudity included! Adding more skin and sex would perhaps have been its saving grace, but alas...

A young girl with a serious father-fixation comes upon her father and mother engaged in marital affairs, and proceeds to stab them both, burning the house down afterwards, subsequently being committed to an asylum until an evaluation can be held upon reaching legal age to determine whether or not she should be released into society. At the evaluation, a psychotherapist regresses her, launching her into a Jungian dream-world of orgies, a "Luciferian sex cult's" Bachannal, various mother-father projections, as well as a lesbian scene. The Lucifer character proclaims that "no matter where she goes, the servants of Lucifer will always follow." That she would eventually return and join the cult. Her "initiation" consists of a flogging while all present laugh at her pain, torment, and misery. It seems that she squeals "mommy, daddy!" at least once or twice every ten minutes, which does become rather tedious, thus losing its professed fetishistic appeal. On a couple of occasions, she materializes upon a beach where she must choose her path, is pursued by a red-faced mime, losing her clothing in the process.

The Psychotherapist eventually snaps her out of her hypnogogic trance as her self-projection is on the verge of a breakdown, informing her that the only way to be rid of all frustration, confusion, and guilt, is to essentially relive the event of origin but change the outcome - that she would have to kill herself instead of her parents. So she enters the dark subconscious once again, committing suicide in that crucial moment, thus altering her memories. She awakens relieved and seemingly balanced. She thanks the Doctor and proceeds to step outside by an automobile driven by none other than her father! As she plants a deep kiss on him. {I presume this was done for shock effect, for he of course was murdered}.

Rating: 1/5. Despite the pretty nude girl frolicking in the forest. Overall, this way out the street for mine!

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Supernatural Trailers

The Devil's Hand, House of Exorcism, Mark of The Devil: Part II, Meat Cleaver Massacre, Witchcraft '70.

With the obvious exception of Witchcraft '70, which contains actual Satanic Rites conducted at The Black House along with an interview segment with Dr. LaVey, these consist of various previews of horror-themed presentations.

Satanic Shorts

British Black Mass: In Britain, a film crew is supposedly "allowed" to witness a "Black Magic ceremony" through the window, because the "evil forces" conjured therein would strike the crew dead were they to set foot within the unhallowed grounds. Ring around the rosy commences, coupled with a supposed slaughtered chicken whose 'blood' is dripped upon the naked flesh of a nubile acolyte. Obviously, this is completely staged made for grimly piquant entertainment.

My Tale Is Hot: A fella gets paid a visit from Old Scratch as he sits down in his living room easy chair to watch some innocuous program, which is "interrupted" by a salacious performance from a sexy young stripper, which is much more preferable in this writer's estimation!

Sex Ritual of The Occult

Beginning as a three-part documentary-style film about "Witchcraft", a troupe of play actors "re-create" various traditions:

1. Lapsing into ceremonial orgiastic practices under the guise of a "Black Mass", including a girl in a coffin with surrounding undulating naked bodies.

2. Two homosexuals encounter each other in a misty dream-like setting {apparently on a park bench} - what this has to do with the Occult is rather unclear except that at the time this was released, homosexuality was still relatively "taboo" in mainstream society - probably included here for shock value.

3. A supposed "Voodoo fertility rite" to regain the fecundity of a young warrior, which predictably erupts into an orgy. The most gratuitously amusing part of it all is probably "The End"...

Gallery of Sexploitation Ad Art with Exploitation Audio

An extensive and priceless slideshow of magazine covers and stills from various multimedia sinemaerotic productions. Quite an amusing perusal overall.

Heather Hunted
{Vivid Video, Starring Heather Hunter, Sonny McKay, Ameiko, Madison, Mike Horner, Max Stryde, Jake Stied, Rex "The Wonder Horse"}

A girl named Heather places an ad in the local paper for a room-mate, and what she gets is a bisexual blonde, which leads to quite a scintillating scene between them as she unlocks the bisexual nature in her as well, as they go about indulging in the Satantric Communion {oral sex}; two girls pleasuring eachother is quite a pleasant sight to see, after all. The blonde is tied in with the mob, who begins bringing around her mob friends to the house, which the princess-like Heather is intimidated by; so she resolves to ask her to leave, but it just so happens that someone "takes the girl out", as it were {e.g., "swimming with the fishes, see"}. When her corpse is found in the bedroom, shortly after another scene which contains an S/M quality, involving a menage e' troise between the former living girl and Heather.

Eventually, a man claiming to be a P.I. {Jake Steed} arrives, and he and Heather become passionately involved as well, in an exceptional scene involving some acrobatics; and considering the two really look like they are genuinely enjoying themselves is a plus. Stied is renowned for his more than adequate appendage which distinctively veers to the left.

Some actual investigtors subsequently arrive {played by Rex "The Wonder Horse" and Madison}, inclusive of another fair young lady who was the girlfriend of one of the mobsters, whom the P.I. decides to "discipline"; which also turns into a threesome with mutual gratification all around.

In the end, Heather is saved, and the "bad guys" get away.

For what it is, this type of erotica attempts to place a plot between the indulgences, which makes it a small bit more interesting, instead of fast-forwarding to get to the "meat", as it were, of the presentation. After all, very few if at all, actually watch an erotic film for the storyline, which really is ultimately just filler because it is typically so shallow with erstwhile "actors" who should probably remain with what they do best - "performers" is a more correct term. However, this is probably one of the better ones in that department.

Obviously, if one wishes to view educational sexuality, the works of Dr. Susan Block is recommended, who herself actually becomes involved in her lessons, as well as the various History Channel and A&E documentaries, and the mutitude of books on the subject, most notably, the 'Kinsey Report' and the Kama Sutra kept in carnal perspective. This is for entertainment purposes only.

3/5.

The Swap
{Vivid Video, 85 minutes. Starring Alex Horn, Ameiko, Bridgette Monroe, Eric Price, Heather Sinclair, Jake Steed, Jennifer Stewart, Jerry Butler, Joel Lawrence, Lance Heywood, Madison, Patricia Kennedy, Paula Price, Sharon Kane, Tom Byron

A rather attactive erotic film considering the common presentations from this genre. The actors are decent-looking.

A couple are experiencing fertility problems, and turn to another couple of assistance. So the male agrees to enseminate the female of the other couple as a favor and is subsequently caught by them as the remaining partners engage in a bit of coitus of their own, which thereby causes a schism. In the meantime, the two women enjoy eachother after a bout of shopping, when one of the girls begins feeling inadequate as a woman, so the other girl decides to reassure her that she is indeed desirable by making love to her.

There is another scene in which the couples are invited to a swingers party where a glorious orgy is taking place, but the two couples decide not to participate. although the scenes certainly serves to stimulate them enough to proceed with their own indulgences.

In the end, the hithertofore infertile female becomes pregnant and the story ends on a happy note.

A recommended purchase for couples experiencing similar problems with eye-opening suggestions.

3.5/5 Phalli.

Torrid 2: Without A Cause
{Vivid Video, 85 minutes. Starring Alex Horn, Axel Wolf, Bridget Monroe, Heather Sinclair, Jake Steed, Jennifer Stewart, Jerry Butler, Joel Lawrence, Lance Heywood, Madison, Patricia Kennedy, Randy West, Rayne, Tom Byron, Tori Welles}

A very sensual presentation. Scenes blend into scenes containing attractive actresses produced in a much more professional manner with some interesting scenarios and sets. There really is no overall plot as such, but more concentration was placed in the actual sexual performances, which is appreciated for these presentations, unless the plot is exceptional, like The Devil's Ecstasy or Traci I Love you.

For the attractive actors and sets, this receives 4/5 Phalli.

S p i d e r b a b e
{XXXVIII A.S. Directed by Johnny Crash; Starring Misty Mundae, Julian Wells, Darian Caine}

An attempted spoof on Spiderman, though really badly done. Seems like most of the production fundage went into the credits, as the effects used are quite impressive to start out with, but then the plot is ridiculously weak.

As Patricia Porker, a college freshman, there is an obnoxious and infantile antagonist who is dealt with by Spider Babe's interesting web shootng ability - not so much the ability iself, but rather from where it derives - and even this is used only twice in the entire film.

Spider Babe's costume is nicely revealing, and she goes through the process of self-discovery upon being bitten by a radio-active spider, etc., yet apparently, she is unable to swing from rooftops, but instead just runs about on foot, yet somehow has the ability to "fly" into a situation - perhaps more like gliding, if they took the original idea of Spiderman with underarm webbing into consideration. Anyhow, at least they could have granted her a "Spidercycle", which would have worked quite well.

While living with Auntie Maybe and Uncle Flem who themselves enjoy a sado-masochistic relationship, she begins her crime-fighting in the Spidey manner of competing in a wrestling match with an brutish woman, which turns into rough sex, to the pleasure of the audience. "Uncle Flem" is shot, so she embarks upon her mission as Spider Babe, and gains a lust/love interest in a jock-boy named "M.J.", who himself at one point is persued by two gay clowns from out of a club named "The Manholio". One of the most notable scenes with he and Spiderbabe involved inversed suspended fellatio - a take on the Spiderman scene with Jane in the rain.

Her primary nemesis consists of "The Femtilian" - a blonde Amazon determined for world domination, who possesses some sort of energy ball. In an attempt to modify negative stories circulating in "The Daily Bungle" about Spiderbabe, Porker and a female JJ Jameson have some fun in the office.

Overall, the sex is soft-core, and mainly oral, although the actresses are quite attractive, and if there is one thing that this film does manage to accomplish, is in its remarkable wardrobe, quite Witchy, and it is recommended that sex vixens view this film if only for the dressing tips.

Spiderbabe {Misty Mundae} is herself fetishistically delectible, yet this may possibly be the worst parody yet, even by spoof standards, and comes no where near "Lord of The G-Strings".

[Rating: 2/5]

The Anal Adventures of Max Hardcore: The Resurrection
{Directed by Lance Heywood. Starring Max Hardcore, Maxine, Jake Steed}

With an 'Indiana Jones' theme, the character of Porn Producer Max Hardcore is struck by a car while enjoying a bit of music on his walkman by someone talking on a cellphone. Run down there on the street, the driver just keeps obliviously on. Max Hardcore disciples rescue his brain and have it transplanted into a John Doe body, to his unexpected and pleased surprise, as he awakens in a younger, stronger body adjuring the aid of his followers to continue on the legacy he initiated of some of the most 'hardcore', thus his namesake, XXX movies ever to hit the off-white screen. He adjusts to his new body by following his instincts to find nubile girls whenever he can. A particular phrase continues to haunt his mind redundantly - that of the droll "face down, ass up!"

The introductory scene displays a nurse performing combination triple penetration and shared copious salivation, which may prove too disturbing for some viewers. One of the primary focuses herein seems to be the humilation of women to the misogynistic "Mad" Max Hardcore. Some of the close-up shots tend towards the gynecological; at least some softer lighting could have been used for these scenes.

Once outdoors, he finds a petite brunette admiring nature on a pull-off section in the canyons, convincing her to accompany him for a model shoot.

At the house, she ascends the stairs in a delighful upskirt sequence. Inside, slowly, off come the clothes, and the divine debaucheries begin in a rather imaginative manner, utilizing a glass screen between and underneath the scene, thus allowing for a remarkable three-dimensional perspective, virtually placing one in the action - a technique not hitherto seen before, and no doubt rarely used besides.

Max Stied is the primary performer herein, whom some may recognize as possessing that distinctive curve to the left on his ample appendage.

The story goes on to include several other female performers, one of which enacts fellatio upon a swarthy fellow with what one would not expect to display on a participant in this genre, namely, a rather small pikestaff, which was actually quite humorously distracting, during a communion scene.

Director Lance Heywood outdoes himself with this production, perhaps introducing and innovating rather garish techniques to the genre, along with a more Frankensteinian plot which could have worked better with more telented actors, which is relatively rare, with very few exceptions. As far as the passionate sex is concerned, it delivers quite well for the most part.

So if you are looking for the hardest of hardcore, 'Max Hardcore 5: The Resurrection' {perhaps 'res-erection' would have made for a more appropriate title} comes through, in more of a stag-party manner. Recommended as a rental.

2/5.

Bordello Babylon

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