V. 7: Restaurants / Dining _______________Hell's Kitchen / Hell's Bar & Grill_______________Draconis Blackthorne
Dave's Killer Bread | Peatos | Count Chocula Treat Bars | King Diamond rice / Melissa's pilaf | Famous Dave's Devil Spit Barbecue Sauce | Don Picoso spicy peanuts | Mizuho Roasted Hot Green Peas | Amor Picante Hotsauce | El Diablo Burger | Nightmare Burger | Moon Dish Laíng | Guacamame dip | Muhammara | Cheetos Bag of Bones | Brim's Hot Crunchy Cheese Curls | The Breakfast of Justice, Uber-munching | Honey Nut Cheerios Justice League cereal | Cap'n Crunch Halloween Crunch | The Return of Cap'n Crunch's Halloween Crunch | Edrozebas!
Dave's "Killer" Bread
While 'Hunting', as I was walking down a market aisle recently, I frequently spot this character in the bread section, who rather looks like an Italian Lothario, a seeming Gaston-type, who is said to be an illustrated version of "Dave Dahl", an ex-con who spent 17 years in prison for burglary. Even though he could have taken advantage of the fortune of having a family business for his ready participation early on. After spending over a decade imprisoned, he seemingly came to his senses and decided to rejoin the family business, until mental illness took a toll wherein he went on a DUI chase and collided into several police cars, sending three officers to the hospital.
Part of the proceeds are said to go to crime-prevention resources.
No matter the history, to Me, the illustration looks like none other than a pumped up Vlad Tepes, perhaps serenading Elizabeth Bathory! With what looks like it could be a Les Paul guitar! There is no mistaking that the bread is damned good! So I think the original purpose has been fulfilled! 21 grains and seeds! My chosen is the Power Seed, 21 whole grains, and white - all organic! Most ideal for peanut butter & jelly, toast, and packed, hefty sandwitches! ∞
peatos
Amusingly, that word also happens to literally translate to "spout" in Spanish, and furthermore, "penis" in slang! Now, depending on the clientele, this could either work for or against the company. For instance, one of the reasons why "Osco" drug failed, was for hispanic customers at least to register the word "disgusting" in their minds, being the similarity to the word "asco".
In any case, there are four flavors of "peatos" to choose from: Classic cheese {more or less just like cheeztits}, fiery hot {you can really taste the lentils, prefer Red Hot Cheetos}, chili cheese {always a win}, and "masala" {for a more homestyle, almost curry-like style}. Due to the former flavor, this snackrifice originates from Central Asia, India - something one would find at Trader Joe's Addams Family Foodshoppe, though available at select Kroger stores.
As far as comparisons, Cheetos are a bit larger & cheesier, while both retain their distinctive flavors, and make for excellent croutons. ∞
Count Chocula Treat Bars
It is really splendid to find that little bit of surprise Halloween withersoever one may travel. Had the splendid opportunity to enjoy these recently, and I must say, they are definitely the beast of their kind, 'bar' none. There are Six included per packet, prominently displayed on the box along with the evocative character that has been part of the Halloween forever; so it behooves one to purchase 3 the first time, and make sure there are three on hand the rest of the time. So finding a plethora of these boxes at a local 99c store still on the shelves in January is a splendid discovery, for those of us who appreciate the Samhain aesthetic the year through.
These are basically rice crispy treats comprised of Count Chocula Monster cereal, covered in fudge and marshmallows, and very chewy. These are to be dispensed for those extra special trick or treaters who really go out of their way to display the Halloween spirit, whether by costume and/or enthusiasm, and imagination, with a few condiments thrown in now and again for the complementary salty and sour contrasts. ∞
King Diamond long rice & Melissa’s rice pilaf
Both of these confections should obviously be enjoyed by candlelight while listening to KD/MF, specifically the Melissa album for starters, frightmask optional, preferably served in a skull bowl, and just have black fun-eral with it!
Not sure if these companies realize the connection, but no matter, a diabolically amusing feast of The Beast can be sinfully enjoyed nonetheless. Just add preferred flesh, vegetables, perhaps stewed tomatoes, potatoes, maybe even accented with seitan in one’s hellmouth oven by brimstone and sulfurous flame. ∞
Famous Dave's Devil's Spit Barbecue Sauce
Amusingly designated XXX & for adolts only, alluringly implores to venture further, & of course, just about anything with a devil thereupon as far as confections are concerned, means it will pack a powerful impression upon the gustatory sense, as well as others in kind. And this certainly does not disappoint. Also whereupon small tender lumplings accompany the thick sanguinous liquid.
Now, anointing some of this unholy so-called "devil's spit" while slowly roasting chosen flesh upon the hellfire within one's veritable Devil's Pit will also result in a dark bloody red coloration, courtesy of the health-inducing witch herb turmeric. And the hearty mascot is perfectly chosen as well! A pleasureful creature sure to make a communal feast for a beast!
Originating from an actual establishment with restaurants nationwide, it is a worthy addition to one's own Hellmouth Kitchen. ∞
5/5.
"Branded with The Devil, but fit for the Lord Helixs."
Matzo Gadaph {blasphemy/revile: גָּדַף} - hors d'oeuvres du Shed {Demon: שֵׁדִים}
Ironically, the statement "Branded with The Devil, but fit for the Lord Helixs" resonates true for Dome Fossilists, being that we are our own Lord Helixs. ∞
Black Mass optionIf and when you feel the need, and if you cannot for whatever reason, attain an actual 'communion wafer', then these are useful and plentiful. These are essentially unleavened bread resembling large crackers used by Jews for passover meals, and christians to represent the nazarene {except they are just shaped into round wafers and impressed with a cross}.
When I performed Black Masses as needed or desired, usually on xmas or beaster {a couple of occasions at the same time as the Catholic Pope*}, these have proven adequate substitutes. They can even be broken into the shape of a cross, if desired.
Contemplating one's 'Devilution', as it were, since Le Messe Noir is a purging catharsis intended to rid the mind of all blindlight influence, I have not felt the need to perform one since shortly after My Dome Fossilic realization.
In reference to the media stating that a 'Black Mass' is our major rite, it should be noted that a formal 'mass' beyond such an 'exorcism' is called a Satanic High Mass {including Destruction, Lust, and Compassion rituals}, not a 'Black Mass' {the transitory blasphemous rite}. ∞
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* My first Messe Noir was performed using an actual communion wafer obtained from a local church. The person accompanying Me later mentioned that My eyes were 'glowing' during the Repudiation & Denunciation. The rite was then followed by The Satanic Baptism using the actual baptism candle from The Vatican, which burned like a torch.
[These reviews are mostly Archival material, and are by no means a complete list of various meetings and locations, some of which will remain private. These are presented here primarily for entertainment value, and/or otherwise contain certain de-facto qualities of particular note, which may be recognized by the perceptive. More can be found throughout The Black Earth section. More will be added as they are experienced and recalled. Life is The Great Indulgence! ~ DB]
S n a c k r i f i c e s
Don Picoso {Spicy Peanuts}
While out and about addressing certain responsibilities, I decided to partake in a quick "snackrifice", as it were, so I took a look in one of those snack machines to see what was available, when lo and behold, this little fellow caught My attention. Snacks for Satanists? ...or "snackrifices"; in this instance, "Don Picoso" {"Sir Spicy", an amusing take on 'Old Nick'} "picosones" spiced peanuts. Actually comprising two of some of My favorite palate pleasers - peanuts & hot spice. As a funny aside, the number on the slot was '45', a derivative of 9, of course, and it was completely rubbed out. Plus, the company that produces these are out of Chula Vista, CA, where a certain newsletter is published from. ∞
Don Picoso {Limon Rico Mix}
Since the last post about these brief, encapsulated confections, I decided to try the 'limon' variation this time, and though it is certainly a limoney salty treat, a soft and crunchy combination, it does not compare to the spicy ones {"picosones"}, in My estimation.
Although these might actually be appropriate to hand out for trick or treat, to those so inclined. Sugary and salty treats for those who impress one with costumed amusement, with condiments going to those who may be obnoxious or not even bothering to dress up for the occasion, yet expect rewards anyway. At least make an effort! ∞
Don Picoso {Peanuts Sal Limon}
Another opportunity presented itself to sample yet another one of these curious confections, and as the name suggests, these salty treats are lime flavored, and as the others, are actually quite delicious - though I must say that the picosones are My personal favorite. All go splendidly with a cold beer, incidentally.
Unfortunately, so far as it is seen, however, this company remains very obscure at this time; it is suggested that they produce these confections more widely available, as well as in greater quantities. I would assuredly acquire cans of these peanuts in bulk. So far this is the only location I have spotted them thusfar - that is, a coin machine. In regards to their flavor, think flavored and spiced party nuts with zest. As a matter of fact, these would go splendidly with all those "potions" recommended in The Satanic Witch. ∞
Mizuho Roasted Hot Green PeasWasabi Mame
In My opinion, as a new experience, it behooves the Satanist to sample a variety of other cultural delicacies and treats. However, depending upon individual disposition, this confection could be either a treat, or a trick.
When most people in Western societies think of peas, they are usually served soft and warm, but they can be eaten hard as well, with some preparation. I had the opportunity to sample these 'snackfrifices' tonight. They give the impression of peanuts, but are actually green peas prepared like roasted peanuts, with wasabi baked all around them like a cocoon. They sort of look like little alien eggs, and have a tendency to creep up on the taste buds. Some seem to be 'hotter' than others, and the flavor is unmistakable, sometimes coursing up into the nostrils. For those unfamiliar with wasabi, it is essentially horseradish, commonly served with a variety of Asian dishes, and is definitely an acquired taste.
These may actually go well to accompany Drac Suey, if so inclined. Experiment forthcoming. ∞
Update 9/29: Poured some of these into 'Drac Suey', and the results are tremendous. They do complement the various flavors therein - from the soy sauce to even Sriracha. They soften a bit, and operate almost like croutons. Also ideal for salad. ∞
Amor Picante Hot Sauce {with limon} by Castillo.Being of Mediterranean descent with a lean towards Spanish {as in Spaniard, Castillian} / Italian {as in Roman}, I naturally love hot sauce. I tend to add a splash to many confections I enjoy, & although I fancy several, My favorite is probably Lucifer's Hot Sauce from Lucifer's Pizza. That said, imagine My delight at spotting this unique bottle from a recent excursion.
"Amor Picante" translates to "spicy love"* {or could that also mean 'lust'}, and features two devil-tailed hearts merging in a sea of green lava. It certainly adds a wonderful bit of extra spice to one's dish. There is also a 'regular' version, & both come in Hot, Medium, & Mild levels. I would recommend Medium for maximum enjoyment with that bit of zing, preserving the inherent flavor of the meal, without unnecessary discomfort, unless preferred. ∞
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* As an aside, "Castillo" translates to "Castle".
A veritable Succubus partakes to the tune of Motley Crue's Shout At The Devil.
El DIABLO Thick Burger
Took at trip throughout the Black Earth recently to sample the mortal's latest offering the "El Diablo Burger {note the DB there} touted as a "thick burger" {much closer to a regular 'Drac serving' here} combination with onion rings & fries, cherry coke, then ice coffee, plus a "kid's meal" {Baaah!} featuring "Troll Hunters" {now, why would anybody want to hunt a troll?*}, complete with a little silver statuesque knight-like figure, though the animated child character looks like he's wearing a tron-like outfit.
4/5. Touted as hot, yet more spicy than anything, aficionados of truly hot & spicy foods may wish to add a bit of hot sauce here and there. ∞
_____________ To celebrate this fine Devil's Night, I decided to possess this devilicious treat. Could this be a burger named after Me? There were black bunned versions on previous Samhains, red in others, but this year was the green... with a distinct Frankenstein feel, considering the crowns as well, which feature the stapled and sewn reanimated verdant flesh of a favorite monster. And this hearty burger certainly is worthy of the name, featuring all three favorite meat groups in beef, pork {bacon!} and chicken in this hybrid mutant of delectibility, in what amounts to a meat-lover's burger!
This snackrifice receives a full 6-6-6!∞
For this inclusion, I decided to add it to Drac Suey, and the results were quite interesting. Even with copious soy sauce additions, and sraracha, the taro leaves seem to suppress all flavors so completely, so as to leave only its rooty, almost medicinal flavor. As a recommendation, it should perhaps be used less in an overall dish for its impressive suppressive quality. As a matter of fact, if one does not necessarily enjoy the flavor of a particular dish, laíng {& otherwise just taro leaves} will suppress the taste for complete tolerance.
The can claims that it is "hot", but oddly, no discernible hot spice was detected at all, like wasabi that would sneak up on one, but just nothing, minus some mild sweating. It's more or less a "swamp soup" like eating tropical jungle algae where it derives, or perhaps the numbing effect on the taste buds is a purposeful in order to diminish some of the other undesirable ingredients in this typical cultural diet, perhaps, like various insects. Fortunately, the only other contents herein besides the spinach-looking taro leaves is coconut milk and shrimp, and the fishy scent is definitely discernible.
It actually reminded Me of some of the compressed, concentrated protein powders made of dehydrated fish and other meats and vegetables carried in bamboo tubes by Shinobi whereupon during long missions, just adding water activates the confection for consuming, providing all necessary nutrients.
I regularly enjoy Asian dishes, but this is probably My least favorite only because of the suppression of the combinations of flavors that I appreciate. Overall, an interesting experience - glad I tried it for an educated opinion. Laíng is definitely an acquired taste, or lack thereof. ∞
From the veritable "Addams Family Food Shoppe" comes this curious confection made with soybeans and tofu, to replicate guacamole; and although the genuine article is preferred*, this makes for an interesting alternative for those who find guacamole too heavy, or some such. Compared to guacamole, this 'guacamame' is a bit blander, but does make for a suitable dip, depending upon what it is combined with, whether it be chips, crackers, pretzels, or even toasted garlic bread. So I decided to try it on pizza*, which worked quite well, combined with a bit of sriracha sauce and salad.
Personally, I prefer actual avocado, but this is not altogether disappointing. ∞
Essentially a hot pepper dip, she is comprised of, among other devilicious delights... Red peppers, walnuts, breadcrumbs, lemon juice, pomegranate molasses, red chili paste, salt, olive oil, & cumin, ideal for dipping everything from potatoe & tortilla chips, french fries, in sandwitches, perhaps even mixed with cheese, or guacamole or even guacamame. Overall, it really grants the impression of a great bean dip. ∞
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Cheetos Bag of Bones Had the pleasure of enjoying these for the inauguration of the Falloween season recently, and can attest that they are acceptable snackrifices.
A bit airy and heavily covered in a white cheese powder, the shapes are presented as rib cages, femurs, hands, and skulls, which places the fun in funeral as one assembles imaginative combinations from two-headed Siamese twins to Yorik, gargoyle {additional implements depending upon the meal - for instance, chopsticks or corn dog sticks make for ideal staffs, swords, spears, or even wings, horns; or a Vitruvian man; perhaps multiple arms and legs, or a Thai Kayan lady. ∞
These are very much like Red hot cheetos, but with a bible verse! In this case, Revelations 21:4, reminiscent of In 'N' Out placing biblical verses on their packages. Just tacky and sad, yet it is the confection that is of importance here, which is sinjoyed no matter what it says, which is usually always ignored anyway.
I would indeed recommend these snacks both as a novelty, and devilicious snackrifice. ∞
It is also quite amusing that Batman's comparisons on the back match and even supersede that of the son of Krypton point for point, both in natural disposition and equalized acquisition. Batman matches both brains and brawn, exceeding with ingenuity, resourcefulness, imagination, intuition, skill, and overall fearsomeness, which is inevitable, considering the character is a Ninja after all.
Yet it is also interesting to note that both characters are based on Satanic principles, with the dark antihero enforcing Lex Talionis/Satanicus, and the Nietzschean concept of the ubermenscht - perceptually the same general idea, yet Batman represents the enhanced shadow side. However, collecting both and combining them would be a delicious treat overall, as one has done with Monster cereals. ∞
As for the cereal, the caramel actually complements the chocoberry quite well, and there are a set of 7 simple multiple choice questions on the reverse side, while Batman's demonstrate factoids.
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Justice League
An aficionado would instantly know to carefully open the comic booklet across the top to preserve the publication in its own sleeve, just as all the other varied and full-sized ones, as well as other publications of interest. Includes trivia quiz, and the box itself is part of a combined diorama comprised of other brands of participating cereal boxes
The cheerios themselves are pretty much the same as one would expect, in flavor and shape, but the package is dramatically improved.
Carl's Jr. Ingredients: charbroiled beef patty, cheesy jalapeno poppers, habanero bacon ranch sauce, bacon, jalapenos and pepper jack cheese on a Premium Bun.
Meet "Carl" {a veritable confectionery "Baphomet"}, the indulgent & well-fed happy Pentagram both encompassing the V/Pentruvian man & a face of pleasure.
In accordance with proper Satanic order, besides the Chalice of Ecstasy during ritual, any purported such "communion" could also very well be quite a richly indulgent repast, instead of the sterile, flat, tasteless dry disk of the nazarene. Thereby it was inserted into the burger to ensure appropriate symbology, and thusly partaken from upon Hellemental Grace. [Photo: Chicken star & onion ring.]
* Unless referring to the internet shit-disturbers.
NIGHTMARE KING BURGER
Ingredients in the Witch's brew confection: ¼ lb. of savory flame–grilled beef, a 100% white meat crispy chicken fillet, melted American cheese, thick cut bacon, creamy mayonnaise, onions; assembled on a glazed green sesame seed bun.
Moon Dish
LAíNG
Taro Leaves in Coconut Cream
An interesting dining experience tonight. Being one for trying new experiences, the nice name and logo, and it had been preserved in an exotic foods section, I decided to try this Phillipine confection recently. Strangely, it seems this dish actually draws the flavor from other ingredients, like a Vampire with a numbing effect on the taste buds overall.
Guacamame Spicy Edamame Dip
Trader Joe'sWhat is this cacamamie amalgamation?
A previously unexperienced confection, a veritable virginal snackrifice unto Pazuzu {the other type}, from The Addams Family foodshoppe has been presented upon the Altar of Fete Diaboli... and has proven a worthy offering unto The Hellmouth. An Arabic maiden by the name of Muhammara*, literally translating to "something red", and it suits her well. Indigenous to Iraq, Syria and Turkey, with a first appearance in Syria.**
* {'Mara', eq. T'an Mo}.
** Sounds like perhaps one of Mohammed's first wives, or perhaps sister, daughter?
One wonderfully rainy day recently while walking down a market aisle, My evil eye caught this bag adorned in apparent hellfire, plus the name alludes to BRIMSTONE, as in "Hellfire & brimstone", so it seemed a natural possession, as most if not all spicy and "hot" flavors are made in Hell and attributed to The Devil, and I would agree, considering these are some of the beast treats for the palate, from one hellmouth to another.
The Breakfast of Justice
Collected this cereal upon a recent excursion to the market place, positioned immediately to the left of the Superman option. One great benefit of all these superhero movies is the ready availability of certain desirable items related thereof. I recall picking up the previous version, which had a much more impressive presentation and inclusion in My estimation, but this was also a pleasing possession as well. A bat shaped chocoberry-flavored crunchy treat, with milk turning to chocolate, the bat insignia on the box itself is impressively fashioned with a leathery texture.
As a contrast to Batman cereal, I decided to grant this confection an inspection, plus, I rather favor caramel wherever found as well. I did go through a Superman phase inspired by the Christopher Reed film, which remains the most balanced depiction in My estimation, then later realized the Nietzschean correlations from whence he was inspired* in the Übermensch {see Thus Spake Zarathustra; ibid}, which made the comic legend a bit more interesting. For its philosophical origins, that "⚡" could very well stand for "⚡atan", in that select sense, despite subsequent presentations asserting the altruistic "hope" in Kryptonian, not to mention the sigil being shaped in the form of a pentagon, perfectly framing the pentagram.
* "I want to teach men the sense of their existence, which is the superman, the lightning out of the dark cloud man." - Friedrich Nietzche.
MXYZPLK
Cap'n Crunch Halloween Crunch
One of the amusing little pleasures I enjoy once in awhile is Halloween cereal throughout the year, which is why the 'Falloween' months are great to stock up on a variety of practical items; but this was found just recently gracing a dark corner of an aisle. A cereal that "speaks to Me!"
Besides Count Chocula, Booberry, Frankenberry, Yummy Mummy and Fruit Brute, I had the pleasure of a bowl of {Limited Edition} Cap'n Crunch's Halloween Crunch earlier, and it sure is delicious. The milk does indeed turn "ghost green". Besides the attractive front box cover, and the Cap'n Crunch pumpkin template on the back, there are actually little gems of trivia such as:
- "The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed in at 1,800 pounds!" Yes, I have seen photos of these monster gourds from the Ripley's Believe It Or Not files, raised by farmers and entered into annual contests for The Guinness World Records.
- "Jack O' Lanterns originally consisted of candles placed in hollowed out turnips to keep away ghosts and spirits." According to arcane lore, yes indeed, as well as lighting the way for Mr. Jack; although I like to think of Jack O' Lanterns as lighting the way to and from Hell to bring forth the demonic brothers, sisters, and friends to celebrate the special Magic of this night.
- "Did you know that pumpkins are made up of around 90 percent water?" I imagine dehydrating them would make for quite a raisin.
- "Seeds that are related to the pumpkin have been found in caves dating back over 7,000 years in Mexico." Interesting. "Dia De Los Muertos", anyone?
Cap'n Crunch Halloween Crunch II
Milk turns ghostly green, though can be perfectly enjoyed by itself as well. Much the same as last year, with the same trivia and pumpkin carving template on the back.
Fortunately, this novel confection is plentiful, and should last the year through, of course, enjoyed in a likened skull bowl recepticle for aesthetic saturation and gustatory enrichment. ∞
While passing through an aisle recently, I was of a sudden greeted by this surprise of The Captain, who is still at the Hallowhelm setting sail for the shores of Hallowland...
The Tears of La Llorona
Interestingly enough, I do have this odd penchant for liking certain unusual foods, like cactus, or "nopalitos". I'm sure it wouldn't even occur to most people that cacti are indeed edible, and delicious when prepared in the correct manner. Uncle Fester sure enjoys it as one of his favorite treats, and has been seen munching away on a full raw cactus leaf from time to time. I have also tried cactus candy for the sweet version of this confection, which certainly is an acquired taste.
There are two primary brands which produce this wonderfully odd treat: La Costeña* & Doña Maria. When I think of those names, the first impression that comes to mind is the morbid legend of "La Llorona" {'The Crying Lady', or 'The Weeping Woman', a Spanish legend imported to New Spain}, a banshee-like specter endlessly searching for her drowned babies that she herself killed, and is apparently doomed to roam the earth searching for them in her own Hell. Appropriately themed to this cultural confection, a resident boogiewoman swamp witch type used to scare children into behaving and not staying out too late, otherwise she will kidnap them, probably taking them down into the river, bog, lake, etc. into a watery grave. Could these be the tears of The Crying Lady? In any case, it is mused that these are "las lagrimas de La Llorona"; or maybe even the saliva of El Chupacabra?
ADRAKA KOZEROL
They are presented pickled & cut long like string beans, and can go in just about anything, accenting everything from salads to nachos, casseroles, or just by themselves. I personally also refer to them as "edrozebas", after an ingredient in Elvira's Great Aunt Morgana's "recipe book" {Spellbook}. They are preserved in a sort of a salty slimy brine resembling saliva, along with chopped onions and a green chili floating around in there.
According to preference, Doña Maria's perky nopales are a bit more taught with the slight hint of a crunch, while La Costeña's has a more mushy countenance, yet both are delicious. ∞
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* 'Coastal' [fem.]
